LOCAL A&E departments would be well advised to be on red alert when Barry Ferguson takes his ailing Ibrox team to Celtic Park in 19 days’ time.
The former Rangers and Scotland midfielder has been pitched in front of the firing squad after agreeing to accept the responsibility of taking over from banished Belgian Philippe Clement, jettisoned on Sunday after weeks of speculation.
Following 16 fairly unremarkable months, this Nosferatu of the touchline has been mercifully put out of his misery.
Ferguson will be the Govan outfit’s caretaker gaffer as he pilots the club through 11 meaningless Premiership fixtures on their way to domestic oblivion.
You and I have known for some considerable time the inevitable destination of the crown.
It is heading home to Paradise for the fourth successive season, the thirteenth time in 14 years and 55 in total since the first flag was claimed in 1893.
GAME OVER…Yosuke Ideguchi winces in agony after an assault in the Scottish Cup roughhouse against Barry Ferguson’s Alloa in January 2022.
Wee Barry and his sidekicks, Neil McCann, Billy Dodds and Allan McGregor, will occupy the visitors’ dug-out on the Sunday afternoon of March 16.
It may well transpire to be the first and last occasion they will take up a 90-minute residency at that particular technical area as they pit their collective wits against Brendan Rodgers.
I doubt very much if the prospect is hindering the Irishman’s sleeping patterns.
Probably much the same as when he faced Mark Warburton, Pedro Caixinha, Graeme Murty, Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Michael Beale and, of course, Big Phil before they were frogmarched towards the trapdoor of football.
Steven Gerrard, naturally, jumped ship before the executioners got the opportunity to slip a noose around his neck.
However, we should not overlook the fact that Wee Barry has previous against Celtic.
May I take you back to a chilly, unwelcoming evening at the quaint – well, ramshackle may be more accurate – Recreation Park, aka the Indodrill Stadium, in Clackmannanshire on January 22 2022 when Ferguson was the supremo of the local club?
It was Ange Postecoglou’s introduction to the glamour of the Scottish Cup, a debut occasion for several of his players, too, in his revamped line-up as he worked miracles following the wreckage of the previous crusade.
For one of his team, Yosuke Ideguchi, it proved to be an unforgettable experience. The Japanese midfielder, who had been unveiled on Hogmanay as part of Ange’s triple swoop on the J-League along with Reo Hatate and Daizen Maeda, was making his second appearance in the green-and-white hoops.
In the 68th minute, the experienced anchorman had to be helped off after an over-the-top assault from Muhamed Niang which brought the Senegalese international a booking from lenient referee Don Robertson.
GAME OVER…Callum McGregor is floored after a facial knock.
Justice caught up with the wayward aggressor when the shocking challenge was reviewed by the SFA who upgraded the yellow to red and banned him for two games.
Ideguchi made only four more outings for Celtic before returning to Japan. Possibly, he hadn’t been overly enamoured by the reception committee who had welcomed him to a new country.
Callum McGregor didn’t see out the first-half as he was on the receiving end of a ferocious challenge from Adam King and had to be led to the dressing room for treatment to a facial injury.
The stricken skipper was forced to sit out the next two matches.
Sixteen minutes before the enforced exit of Ideguchi, Liel Abada, who scored the decisive goal in a 2-1 win, also made an unscheduled departure after being left in a heap following a coming-together with the aforementioned Niang.
“Clattered and battered” was the expression I utilised for my match summary that evening. The bruised Celtic players left the ground with a fair impression of how Custer must have felt shortly before his demise at the Battle of Little Bighorn.
A bewildered Giorgos Giakoumakis, who scored the opening goal, claimed the opponents had been “too dangerous”. It was a generous summing-up from the Greek striker.
Asked about the tactics adopted by his third-tier bruisers, Ferguson positively bristled at suggestions his part-timers were a bunch of hammer-throwers.
The newly-appointed Govan interim guru snapped: “It’s absolute nonsense for him [Giakoumakis] or anyone else to suggest I had a game plan to go out and hurt Celtic’s players. I’m actually angry when I see comments like that.
GAME OVER…Liel Abada, with a concerned Tom Rogic looking on, receives treatment before his exit at Recreation Park.
“No way can I stand back and allow people to take a pop at my players. They are not dangerous – they’re just fully committed.
“That’s what I asked them to be because if you sit off a team of Celtic’s quality then they’ll destroy you. So I told my players I needed them to be fully committed and aggressive. But not over aggressive.
“If I felt any of them were out there deliberately trying to hurt an opponent then they wouldn’t be on the pitch. They wouldn’t even be in my squad. I wouldn’t tolerate it – I’d be the first one to pull them up for it if I thought they had it in their make-up, but they don’t.”
Ferguson, as reported by CQN at the time, continued: “What they are is an honest group of players who give 100 per cent – they don’t ever look to endanger an opponent – and I’m disappointed to see what’s been said.
“What were they supposed to do? Roll over for Celtic and give them an easy time?
“No, I asked them to go out there, get in a few faces and bite at a few ankles.
“Anyone who knows me knows that’s what I was like as a player myself, but at no point would it even have crossed my mind to go out there and deliberately hurt another player.”
On culprit Niang, who was allowed to remain of the pitch courtesy of the benevolence of the match official, Ferguson added: “I feel I’ve got to stick up for him because he’s a lovely big guy with a brilliant attitude.
“He’s a humble kid who wants to learn and improve. You could see from the game against Celtic that he works hard to win tackles and get in people’s faces.
“That’s exactly what I asked him to do. To make it uncomfortable as possible for them and rile them up a wee bit.”
Who realised Wee Barry was such a master of the understatement?
I could be wrong, of course, but I have a sneaky suspicion we could be in for a bumpy ride at Celtic Park next month.
Tin helmets may be a standard requirement.
ALEX GORDON
