“EVERYONE has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
The less-than-erudite quote belongs to Iron Mike Tyson, the former heavyweight boxing champion of the world. I’m guessing he was no devotee of Shakespeare or Dickens.
The snarling fighter offered the fairly callous and savage summation to an American reporter after being asked if he was worried about noises coming from an opponent who had apparently conjured a strategy that may make life somewhat unpleasant for Iron Mike when they went toe to toe in the ring.
Refusing to lean on the works of Oscar Wilde or Noel Coward, Tyson, who also rejoiced in the mantle as ‘The Baddest Man on the Planet’, cut to the chase.
SMILES BETTER…Brendan Rodgers is feeling just champion.
It was a typical response from this brute in boxing gloves who preferred to bludgeon a rival senseless as opposed to beguile him with his superior craft. Why waste all that time putting on a show for worldwide TV audiences when you can simply batter an opponent into oblivion and get straight back to the tattoo parlour?
I thought of dear, old Iron Mike this morning when I came across some words of wisdom from Rangers’ caretaker manager Barry Ferguson as he prepared his troops for this afternoon’s set-to against Celtic at Parkhead.
“It’s not always about being a good football team or a nice football team,” proferred Wee Barry. “That’s not the case. Sometimes you need to roll your sleeves up and do the dirty side of the game.”
As master plans go, it could have been based on the musings of Iron Mike. The one-time pugilistic punisher would no doubt growl in agreement with such a grand sporting design.
Brendan v Barry in a battle of technique and tactics is intriguing, isn’t it? Looks like a bit of a mismatch to the tired old eyes of your humble scribe, I have to admit.
Mind you, folk may have thought along similar lines when it was announced Goliath was preparing to mix it up with some miniscule nonentity called David. And we all know what happened then, don’t we, dear reader?
However, I can’t help thinking if the VAR spoilsports had been around back in the day the result would have been reversed after David’s illegal use of a rock and sling. I don’t suppose anyone would be keen to rewrite The Bible, so Goliath will forever feature as a loser within the pages of the world’s biggest-selling tome.
HEADING FOR PARADISE…Barry Ferguson will manage at Parkhead for the first time.
There has been a fair bit of hubris and hooha emitting from down Govan way since Barry’s Battlers saw off The Special One and his bang average Turkish outfit.
They were celebrating of the streets of Rangers after they had just suffered their fourth consecutive home loss as Fenerbahce joined second-tier Queen’s Park, St Mirren and Motherwell in enjoying an away-day success at Ibrox.
Strange old game, football.
Quite rightly, Rodgers and Celtic go into this contest as favourites, but you don’t have to possess the recollection powers of Marvo the Memory Man to reflect on the headaches the champions suffered in the past two games against the same opponents.
Three goals were conceded at Hampden and another trio in Govan. On both occasions, Celtic were sloppy, often caught in possession, wayward in their passing and rushed into mistakes.
I talked to one of Celtic’s senior deputation on the evening of the 3-0 loss on January 2. Iron Mike couldn’t have bettered his one-word response when I asked him what he thought of the team’s performance.
“Battered,” he answered. I couldn’t argue.
Basically, a remarkably passive collection of players in green and white hooped jerseys were bullied into submission from start to finish.
To demonstrate the sheer awfulness of the most inept display of the season – even worse than the drubbing in Dortmund – the hosts’ converted right-back Ridvan Yilmaz, more at home on the left, had six shots at Kasper Schmeichel’s goal that afternoon.
In total, Celtic mustered one in a lop-sided affair – a shot from Reo Hatate from the edge of the box that was saved with a fair degree of ease by Liam Kelly, a custodian of mediocre quality.
So, this is the time and place for the champions to stand up and deliver. And show they have learned from their two previous confrontations against today’s opponents.
Rodgers’ men need to set the tempo, something the team failed to achieve at Hampden and Ibrox.
In boxing parlance which would be understood and encouraged by Iron Mike, Celtic need to come out swinging.
Referee Steven McLean may have some hard decisions to make and we must hope interventions from pesky VAR are few and far between.
As I always say on these occasions, may the better team win.
ALEX GORDON
*DON’T miss the unbeatable match report from Celtic v Rangers this afternoon – only in your champion CQN.
