GOOD GRIEF! We’ve all come within an inch of suffocating under an avalanche of verbal diarrhoea in recent days.
The amount of drivel and gibberish we have had to contend with has reached epidemic proportions as chuntering imbeciles have formed a disorderly queue to spew out their venom.
Somewhere in the midst of all this rancid verbosity, we seem to have lost sight of the fact Celtic have just won their fifth successive title, their fourteenth championship in 15 years, their 20th flag this century and record 56th crown.
All very commendable, you would have thought.
And, apparently, you would be dead wrong.
Any rounds of applause that did come the way of Celtic for their latest meritorious achievement have been drowned out by the incomprehensible clamour from a parade of dullards, including some wizened old coots who have as much grasp of football as my cat.
I took some time to catch up with my reading yesterday to find out what some of my one-time colleagues of the inky trade were scribbling in their journals. Yes, I still buy newspapers in print form every morning along with the rolls from the village store.
ALL CALM…Martin O’Neill arrives at Celtic Park as destiny beckons on Saturday.
I may be one of the last men standing who goes through such a routine, but, after a lifetime in the profession, I am a creature of habit and the daily activity will continue until one of us ceases to exist.
Glancing through one of the Saturday previews, I was intrigued to read that “Hearts just need a point to clinch title” but “Celtic can steal it with a victory.”
So the reigning holders of the silverware are cast as thieves if they wish to be successful in their quest for yet another crown?
Interesting formation of words from the scribe, methinks.
However, that was a mere faux pas compared to the Mount Vesuvius-like eruption of vitriol in yesterday’s papers.
Forget the pitch invasion for a moment, please. No surprise the vanquished Hearts hierarchy were a lot quicker than their defenders at Celtic’s third goal when they labelled the scenes as “an embarrassment to Scottish football.”
Let’s stick to football matters, if you don’t mind.
In a fairly lengthy “think piece”, as they were called in the good, old days when newspapers sold in their millions, one hack covered Celtic’s fairly momentous accomplishment in one, infinitesimal paragraph. It was clearly lobbed in as an afterthought.
READY, STEADY, GO…Celtic players perform the last huddle of the league campaign in front of a sold-out Parkhead for the title showdown.
The rest of the editorial extolled the virtues of the runners-up. Yes, I agree the Edinburgh club deserve the utmost respect for what they have contributed to one of the most breathtaking and exciting title jousts in recent seasons.
Their rise in stature has been fairly phenomenal when you consider they limped in the previous term in seventh place with 52 points, as opposed to 80 this time around. That is praiseworthy. Only the churlish would deny the capital club great credit.
However, their valiant efforts were still two points behind winners Celtic. In the morass of misguided comments and puerile remarks, the team that has just conquered Scotland yet again were shamefully overlooked and pathetically ignored by so many.
In the piece I pored over during my tea and toast I was informed Hearts had faced adversity with players such as Craig Halkett, Oison McEntee and Marc Leonard missing at Parkhead while Lawrence Shankland and Cammy Devlin had spells out through injury during the term.
Boo hoo.
No mention that Celtic were deprived of the maverick services of Filipe Jota for an entire season, Cameron Carter-Vickers out since October and Alistair Johnston just returning to action a couple of weeks ago after being out for seven months.
Kasper Schmeichel’s career is now in jeopardy after finally succumbing to his persistent shoulder injury in February and the Danish legend was unable to make a contribution during the vitally-important stage of the crusade.
A MAN AND HIS PRIZE…Martin O’Neill holds the Premiership trophy.
Arne Engels, too, missed seven consecutive league games because of a thigh strain and only returned for the 1-0 home win over St Mirren on April 11.
I’ve also perused a few articles that tell me Hearts “lost the title on the last day.” These folk really should know better.
Hearts didn’t lose the title quite simply because Hearts didn’t have a title to lose.
The only club in the country who could lose a title were Celtic and, in case some folk have been in a coma for the past few years, that gleaming chunk of silverware has been the exclusive property of the same club for the past five seasons.
Credit where it is due.
Look, we know Celtic have not played to anywhere near their anticipated standards this season. We’ve been a bit of a flawed diamond.
The last three transfer windows have been exceptionally poor and the squad is crying out for quality.
I’m sure Kelechi Iheanacho can provide that elusive calibre. I’ve said so since he pitched up as a free agent in September following his release from Sevilla.
The Nigerian international is not going to hare around the pitch in the manner of Daizen Maeda, but he has many other attributes, including an ice-cool temperament in the penalty box when everyone else is running around with their hair on fire.
Get him signed, Celtic.
HOOP HOOP HOORAY…Daizen Maeda leads the celebrations.
As for the fans invading the pitch? What can I say? No-one can condone it and it is clearly unwelcome.
The bleating Hearts are making comments about being denied the opportunity to say a final farewell to their pocket of fans in the stadium. Fair enough. Take it up with Police Scotland.
We’ll be up to our necks in expressions such as “disgraceful”, “disgusting”, “carnage”, “chaos”, “sickening”, “shameful”, “alarming” and so on as the days and weeks roll by.
Overlooking the fact the game was not abandoned, I’ve read utter baloney from some folk demanding Hearts are awarded the points, the match should be replayed and one poor soul insisting Celtic should be made to play behind closed doors next season.
A lot of it is vindictive, hysterical malarkey, of course.
The saddest aspect for me is that these cavorting so-called fans exposed the back of their favourite club. They provided the bullets for the many who have Celtic in their sights, the folk who have no hesitation in pulling the trigger.
This will rumble on. I believe the authorities are still discussing the problems of the pitch invasion after the derby Scottish Cup-tie in March. The wheels of justice turn slowly, right enough.
Stand by for a summer of discontent, dear reader, as those with anger issues head for meltdown.
I don’t know about you, but I am going to celebrate Celtic’s fifth successive title, their fourteenth championship in 15 years, their 20th flag this century and record 56th crown.
Cheers!
ALEX GORDON
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