THE REPORTER stopped short at giving it the ‘we-are-not-worthy’ drivel as he posed the question to Arne Engels.
Celtic’s record signing at £11million from Augsburg was meeting the media for the first time a couple of days after making his debut in the 3-0 derby rout at a pulsating Parkhead.
The gifted playmaker fielded the reasonably lame questions with an ease which belied his 21 years. His expression made you wonder if he would require plastic surgery to remove his smile.
Chronic lack of prep work is often frighteningly obvious at these press conferences. It wasn’t in my job description as sports editor at the Sunday Mail to be tasked with covering these chat shows – and I’ll be forever thankful for that.
I did pop into a few over the years, though, just to remind people I was still utilising oxygen.
SMILES BETTER…Arne Engels meets the press for the first time.
Inane queries would trundle out and the individual on the receiving end would often grin, nod and make all the right noises.
As far as interrogations are concerned, there was never the requirement of thumbscrews to garner the information as tapes whirred and notebooks were produced for some dexterous scribbling.
Every now and again someone would throw in a cringeworthy query that made you wonder if they had chosen the profession best suited for their skills.
I am not questioning the veracity of the hack or the possibility of an element of mischief behind the enquiry. Maybe he just felt the need to fill in a void as the questioning neared a conclusion.
The drift of the puzzler was that some may be surprised Engels had quit the Bundesliga – “one of the biggest leagues in the world” – to come to Scotland.
The anonymous journalist, whose accent appeared to owe more to Hackney than Hamilton, didn’t quite ask if the Belgian had taken leave of his senses to even consider such an outlandish switch, but there was more than a hint of incredulity in his tone.
Engels batted away the feeble inquest with the sort of reply you would expect of someone who had just joined a club that have won FORTY-ONE trophies in the 21st Century.
The sequence of extraordinary ascendancy is comprised of 18 titles, 12 Scottish Cups and 11 League Cups.
HAPPY DAZE…Arne Engels celebrates his first Celtic goal after slotting away a penalty-kick in the 2-0 triumph over Hearts at Parkhead at the weekend.
The club made world history by achieving an eighth domestic clean sweep in season 2022/23. Six of that meritorious series have come since the bells chimed to usher in a new millennium.
Celtic are bidding for their thirteenth championship in 14 years, their 55th crown in their glorious history, they are guaranteed at least eight games in the prestigious Champions League and they regularly play in front of 60,000 at Celtic Park.
The club also possess a worldwide fanbase that is just about unrivalled.
So, why would Engels even consider leaving the Bundesliga to pitch up in the Premiership?
Why would he choose to quit a club side who have never won a major honour?
A team whose instabilty is highlighted by the fact they have had six managers in the last six years?
An outfit who rarely play to massive crowds at their 30,660 capacity stadium?
A side who finished eleventh in the 18-club top-flight last season, their highest position in the past five years?
A team who regularly find themselves in the relegation dogfight?
Was it any wonder the new Bhoy smirked just a tad when he deemed to offer a perfectly reasonable reply?
That will be the same Arne Engels who will perform in Europe’s elite competition against Slovan Bratislava in front of a sell-out crowd at a throbbing Parkhead this evening.
ALEX GORDON
