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Ice cream, jelly and our profane enemies

280

Trips to Inverness and Aberdeen offer the Celtic support travelling from the west of Scotland ample opportunity for the odd libation at early lunch stops along the way.  As a result, recent seasons have seen enemies of our club set their recorders to capture every utterance from the famous Celtic away support, keen to grab an opportunity to expose and exploit anything which could possibility cause offence.  These people are a bit like the National Viewers’ and Listeners Association, but with tattoos and a more libertarian take on profanity.

The ice cream and jelly show these guardians of public morals had to endure on Saturday would have caused ultimate distress.  Ultimate, that was, until Sunday brought a new level of consciousness.  And profanity.

It’s almost like everything is coming together for one side of the city while the other side is being Flushed Away.  Like a horrible wee jobby.

Yesterday may have been the most enjoyable day I’ve had reading Celtic Quick News.  As a result, I used the ‘share’ button at the bottom of each comment extensively.  If you are on Facebook or Twitter you can use this button to post your own comment, in context, to your social media facilities.

You can also use it to share, or give prominence to, any comment you think important enough for a wider audience, or simply because it is too funny not to share.  There is a lot of great material on here that deserves to be read as widely as possible.

By default, the share facility places the article title in the text box, which is not very helpful.  So if you use it (which I hope you do after the trouble Andrew in Belfast went to installing it in the first place), it’s a good idea to copy some of the comment and past that into the dialogue box.

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  1. Paul67

     

    ‘Like a horrible wee jobby.’

     

     

    Just spat my lunchtime soup over my screen when I read that! Murder to clean!

     

     

    Will Ally be flushed away at the 8:00am meeting tomorrow?

     

     

    HH

  2. Repost from the previous article…

     

     

    Bhoys

     

     

    Does anybody have any idea whether there’s a Celtic Convention on in Santa Ponsa this summer? It’s been mentioned once or twice by a few of my mates, but can’t seem to find anything to confirm it. Reason I’m asking is me and the woman will be in Palma Nova around the dates suggested it may be held.

     

     

    HH

     

    Giggs

  3. philvisreturns_2

     

     

    I think your new name’s catchier – a tribute to unsung (yet financially necessary) movie sequels everywhere.

     

     

    Roy Scheider would have driven the ice-cream van (scoop, you son of a b****) in both avatars.

  4. Dontbrattbakkinanger on

    I think I preferred the ole ole Philvis- in fact, I’m sure he’s the real ole Philvis, and this new bloke is a facile facsimile

     

     

    DBBIA/PrisonerofZendaCSC

  5. LiviBhoy says:

     

    6 February, 2012 at 12:14

     

    Pesky new article everytime I post something that took ages to type!

     

     

    LB

     

     

    —–

     

     

    Haha, I got caught out there too! But I got my assistant to type mine… :-)

     

     

    HH

     

    Giggs

  6. RATM - A BAMPOT! on

    Paul67

     

     

    Buckled me with your “jobby” comment and my much better half is suitably annoyed as she despises that word!

  7. CultsBhoy loves being 1st on

    Some real comedy gold from BBC commentator yesterday.. Got funnier as the game progressed climaxing in a classic line at 91 minutes or thereabouts …

     

    ‘this tie now looks beyond Rangers..’

     

     

    Slightly earlier… ‘ I think at this stage Ali McCoist would settle for a draw and a replay’.. Prompting Billy Dodds to plead ‘ just a little’..

     

     

    Pure Gold… Desperately funny… Certainly desperate..

     

     

    share

     

     

  8. Do we have enough Jelly & Icecream for when this mob hits the skids…

     

     

    MARIAN KELLO was dropped by Hearts yesterday because he has entered pre-contract negotiations with an unnamed English club, the Evening News can reveal.

     

     

    Championship side Watford are especially keen to capture the Slovakian goalkeeper, who becomes a free agent in June when his Tynecastle contract expires. Watford’s league rivals Bristol City and Nottingham Forest are also pursuing his signature.

     

     

    Kello’s desire is to continue his career in England and he may now have played his last game for Hearts. He warmed up for yesterday’s William Hill Scottish Cup 1-1 draw with St Johnstone but was not included in the matchday squad. Jamie MacDonald played in goal, with Mark Ridgers on the subs’ bench.

     

     

    Kello, left, refused a move on deadline day to Austria Vienna last week, which also irked Hearts’ majority shareholder, Vladimir Romanov. He has instructed manager Paulo Sergio to use MacDonald and Ridgers until further notice after both goalkeepers recently signed new contracts with the Edinburgh club.

     

     

    That leaves Kello frozen out of first-team affairs, with the Tynecastle board refusing to let him play. “There is an issue between him and our board, a political thing. It’s not up to me to explain that,” admitted Sergio.

  9. philvisreturns_2 on

    I was just a mini-Philvis in the early 1980’s so I don’t have clear memories of how bad they were then, or how poorly supported.

     

     

    My memories of Rangers involve the Souness years onwards, when they were full of pomp and bombast and every Dick, Dick, and Billy in Scotland seemed to support them.

     

     

    It’s a little bit amazing to see their support melt away so quickly in the face of adversity.

     

     

    This Rangers team is 3-in-a-row Scottish champions and still mathematically in the hunt for a fourth.

     

     

    They are up against it but are managed by one of their legendary players, a true blue loyal Ranger, and he needs their support.

     

     

    Yet only 16,000 of them could be bothered turning up to see them in the latter stages of the Scottish Cup.

     

     

    It’s like watching the army of orcs flee at the end of Lord Of The Rings, when they suddenly realise their dark master has fallen. (thumbsup)

  10. P67

     

     

    Excellent Paul……but more like a horrible putrid BIG jobby that will be a PLEASURE to stand on one day soon!

     

     

    hhplc

  11. RogueLeader, :-)

     

     

    Summer of 65, it felt right.

     

     

    ASonOfDan, it was talk of #Rangersmovies on Twitter last week that got me onto the theme. I was interrupted before suggesting Flushed Away so felt an unused imagery had been conceived.

     

     

    RATM, I’m not keen on it myself, t.b.h. but to be fair, they are.

     

     

    starry plough, yes, these are the best of times.

  12. I don’t agree that NewCo should automatically get the vacant place in Division 3.

     

     

    Why should they?

     

     

    If anything they could be allowed to play in a knockout competition with other contenders for the vacant spot.

     

    If there were only four teams interested, for example, a mini-league could setup for them all to play each other.

     

     

    The winning team, not necessarily NewCo, would get the vacant place on merit.

     

     

    Makes sense to me

     

    ;o)

  13. philvisreturns_2 on

    up_over_goal –

     

     

    Philvis 2: Electric Boogaloo

     

     

    Or

     

     

    2 Philvis 2 Furious

     

     

    Or

     

     

    Philvis 2: Thumbsup Day

     

     

    (thumbsup)

  14. Auld Neil Lennon heid on

    I always found the word “toly” interesting.

     

     

    It somehow conveyed the same polite meaning as jobby but with a nuance I could never quite put my finger on.

     

     

    Which is probably just as well, I hear you all shout. ;)

     

     

    (waiting on boarding call)

  15. Had a family wedding all weekend so missed the match etc – what are all the comments regarding jelly and ice cream – my heads still a bit fuzzy so not sure am i missing something really obvious!! cheers

  16. Hi been registered for a while but first posting.

     

    Cream bun at work told me this morning that his cousin won the half time draw a few weeks ago at Ibrokes.

     

    He won £1800 in cash and was to contact them later in the week after all the vendors had paid their ticket money in, to see how much else he was due. Sounds a bit dodgy. Can imagine that call, Mr Whyte you say I’ve to pay some of my £1800 back?

     

    HH

  17. I’m sure everyone is experiencing the ‘I’m no that bothered about fitba anymore’ attitude of the Hun today.

     

    Totally brilliant. Another comedy gold statement is ‘Scottish football is rubbish anyway I watch the EPL’

     

    They are hurting today like no other time I can remember. The heart is totally knocked out of them. Kill them off Neil. Don’t even given them a glimmer of hope.

     

     

    LB

  18. TheOriginalSadiesBhoy on

    Paul

     

     

    “Like a horrible wee jobby”? Bent over laughing when I read it. It seems so out of context for you but yet it sums up the mood and the circumstances perfectly. Brilliant!

  19. 67Heaven ... I am Neil Lennon..!! Tick Tock !! on

    Co-incidence that we have had so may away ties..?…..Paranoid…?….”Happy Clappers”…??

     

     

     

    2010

     

    22 Sep

     

    SLC 3rd

     

    Inverness

     

    H

     

    6-0

     

    Home Tie!!!

     

     

    2010

     

    27 Oct

     

    SLC QF

     

    St Johnstone

     

    A

     

    2-3

     

    1st cup tie drawn away

     

     

    2011

     

    9 Jan

     

    SC 4th Rnd

     

    Berwick

     

    A

     

    0-2

     

    2nd cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2011

     

    29 Jan

     

    SLC Semi Final

     

    Aberdeen

     

    N

     

    1-4

     

     

     

    2011

     

    6 Feb

     

    SC 5th Rnd

     

    Rangers

     

    A

     

    2-2

     

    3rd cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2011

     

    2 Mar

     

    SC 5th Rnd Rep

     

    Rangers

     

    H

     

    1-0

     

     

     

    2011

     

    16 Mar

     

    SC 6th Rnd (QF)

     

    Inverness

     

    A

     

    1-2

     

    4th cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2011

     

    20 Mar

     

    SLC Final

     

    Rangers

     

    N

     

    1-2

     

     

     

    2011

     

    17 Apr

     

    SC Semi Final

     

    Aberdeen

     

    N

     

    4-0

     

     

     

    2011

     

    21 May

     

    SC Final

     

    Motherwell

     

    N

     

    3-0

     

     

     

     

    2011

     

    21 Sep

     

    SLC 3rd

     

    Ross County

     

    A

     

    0-2

     

    5th cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2011

     

    26 Oct

     

    SLC QF

     

    Hibs

     

    A

     

    1-4

     

    6th cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2012

     

    8 Jan

     

    SC 4th Rnd

     

    Peterhead

     

    A

     

    0-3

     

    7th cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2012

     

    29 Jan

     

    SLC Semi Final

     

    Falkirk

     

    N

     

    3-1

     

     

     

    2012

     

    4 Feb

     

    SC 5th Rnd

     

    Inverness

     

    A

     

    0-2

     

    8th cup tie in a row drawn away

     

     

    2012

     

     

    SC 6th Rnd (QF)

     

    ?????

  20. Awe_Naw_No_Annoni_Oan_Anaw_Noo on

    Livibhoy

     

     

    Isn´t this the type of information that is available under freedom of information act ?

     

     

    Would the Police extend any favours to Rangers ? yes I know they do but should they be allowed too ?

     

     

    Are they presently ?

     

     

    Hail Hail

  21. Paul67

     

    I would have to agree with you on that one.

     

    Having read this site for over five years, yesterday was one

     

    of the best and funniest reads ever.

     

    I laughed that hard at some of the comments,

     

    i had tears rolling down my face.

     

    Well done everyone who posted.

     

    Looks to me the like stars are starting to align nicely.

     

    Keep up the great work Paul.

     

    Hail Hail

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