Michael, they have taken you away… from Ibrox


If you aggregate the nods, winks and rumours around Celtic this week you might be inclined to think we’re in the market for a target-man striker with a few years’ experience under his belt.  I agree with the principle that we need a target man and I’m also of the view that short-term deals are not nearly as desirable as permanent contracts, but as we know, it’s too easy to load the club full of squad players who cumulatively cost a lot of money but scarcely trouble the first team.

Hooper, Stokes, Samaras, Bangura, Rasmussen and Murphy are all under contract for next season and we cannot be confident of attracting bids for any of those Neil Lennon might want to move on.  If we add a seventh striker, his name better be on the team sheet before Gary Hooper’s.  Signing an exotic version of Daryl Murphy would add spice to our week but would only consume scarce resources.  I’d rather not.

Co-opting a media partner works in theory.  It’s always better to have good relationships with the media than the kind of relationships Celtic perennially have, but what happens when your media partner plays with a straight bat?

Rangers media partner, STV, today report Nigerian trialist, Michael Uchebo, boarded a plane out of Glasgow a few hours after arriving (Michael, they have taken you away….) as the VVV-Venlo striker with 8 career goals to his name had “a poor first impression of” Rangers.

Michael, you clearly have a rubbish strike rate but you’re a remarkably perceptive individual.

Issue 6 of CQN Magazine is currently being prepared; drop me a line if you would like to advertise, celticquicknews@gmail.com.

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  1. setting free the bears at 12:25



    Sounds like Bellaghy resident, Margaret Johnson, a 5 time World Champion in Bowls, managed remarkable consistency as was able to win world titles in both the indoor and outdoor versions of the sport.



    Unlikely anyone here will have ever heard of her.




  2. So Andy puts us through the wringer again. Demolished in the 4th set, lifeless and error-stricken after being superb for so long. A strange, strange game. Nady has probably had more break points against Djokivic in this game than he has had in all of the others put together.

  3. The Pantaloon Duck on

    We already have:



    Daryl Murphy



    Exotic version of Daryl Murphy: Morten Rasmussen



    More exotic version of Daryl Murphy: Mo Bangura



    … so we still need to sign the “most exotic version of Daryl Murphy” before we have the complete set.

  4. Djokovic looks like Steve Thomas




    I know you don’y know who Steve Thomas is…….




    But he does!!!

  5. LOL another Hun target doesn’t even unpack his bags before heading off. It gets better and better. However i have noted a somewhat disturbing development in that some, alleged, Celtic fans are stating that Scottish football is heading for a disaster of biblical proportions should Rankers FC disappear? Who are these people? Are they really Celtic supporters? We should take every opportunity to rejoice in their suffering, laugh out loud as we witness their support squirm and cower and we should all fervently pray that Scottish football is finally rid of the institution of hate that is Rangers FC. Revenge is a dish that is most definitely best served cold and I for one savour every ice cold morsel. Who knows it may even be the 1st step to our entering the English league system.

  6. My mate has been saying for past couple of weeks he expected Hibs to do the damage at ibrox. Did not agree with him, but when the rangers players have seen all these players coming and going and Hibs now with a chip on their shoulder, I think he might be right…

  7. Kittoch at 12:35



    I know you don’y know who Steve Thomas is…….



    Don’t know who he is, but I know what he looks like.




  8. Murray’s akin to “Eddie the Eagle” great fun value -)



    Not that i’m watching it, but i remember the buzz eddie gave the UK.

  9. !!Bada Bing!! Kano 1000 on

    They’re all at it now. Jonathan Ross has been accused of taking a kitchen utensil from Tesco. He told police it was a whisk worth taking.

  10. So the lowest scoring striker that we have ever seen (and who earns £8k pw!!!) has left.


    And Jellylegs has missed todays training…. again!!



    It must be Nike Friday.


    Go on Celtic bring in a striker and sign FF today this would really wind THEM well and truly right up!








    /Bishop B

  11. Do ranger’s pay triallist’s travel expenses? You can book it, Thomas Cook it (and cook the books while you’re at it).

  12. !!Bada Bing!! Kano 1000 on

    The lapdogs must be gagging to ask their leader”whats it like to have a 19 point turn around in a couple of months”,”what about your own position…..?”,” have you heard of any of these trialists?”


    maybe not…..he will probably send out McDowally or Durranty anyway.

  13. The Battered Bunnet on

    There is a physical brutality to hard court tennis.



    Who’s got the strength to keep going ’til the other one falls?



    On serve in the 5th at 2-1 Djok

  14. So, what Rankers story will be top of the STV news tonight?



    My bets are that they have a Serie’C2 striker on trial and they have made an enquiry for an unnamed midfielder with a top Spanish side.

  15. They wil be asked the same amount of questions about the 19 point swing as smith was asked after being demolished at home by unirea.




  16. Andy Murray looks like my auntie Jean



    I know you don’t know what auntie Jean looks like…..



    But he does!!

  17. Couple of gladiators slugging it out in Melbourne.


    Magnifiicent sporting contest.


    Nadal must be delighted watching this with his feet up.



  18. James Forrest is Lennon on




    That’s an interesting article alright.



    UEFA will be asked, in the case of Rangers, to excuse one of the worst examples of financial doping in decades. They will be asked to excuse a club which has been found guilty of tax fraud. They will be asked to excuse a club which, in its living original form, would not have been guarenteed a UEFA license anyway because of the state of its accounting practices. They will be being asked to endorse a grubby deal which will already have shamed Scottish football, and to sign off on defrauding a national tax authority.



    You think they’ll agree to that?



    Na, me neither!

  19. 99% of the tim I agree with our esteemed host. But then there is always the problem of a lack of goal congruence with our board interested only in profit and not in whats on the park (unless its to sell whats on the park for a profit)……



    Having agreed throughout the transfer window that we need a striker Paul’s article now says we dont need one. Quite apart from the quoting of Samaras, Rasmussen, Murphy and Bangura as realistic options for strikers (something that most of us simply dont recognise) there is an awful feeling of de ja vu in where we find ourselves.



    For the hard of learning we havent won the league for 3 years. 3 months ago we were massively behind in the league and only a spectacular collapse by the huns and a brilliant (and probably unsustainable) winning run has brought about a change. Like each of the last 3 seasons we need a striker in January to ensure we have options. Like each of the last 3 seasons we have all agreed (including Paul) that we do, like each of the last 3 seasons as the window nears closure so does the opinions of the need for a striker.



    Its depressingly familiar, complacent and utterly predictable.



    Ultimately NL may pay – and its an incredible weakness on his part not to strengthen in this area but strengthen the midfield again.



    As a reminder in each of the last 3 seasons we have all cited the huns as ready to go bust only for them to win those leagues.



    I would rant and rave but its pointless and will achieve nothing. All I’ll say is its a sign of poor management on behalf of Celtic to have to learn this mistake once again.



    Paul do you just recycle these articles now?



    On another matter I was hoping some of you could confirm something – is it true that Celtic fans were searched at St Mirren the other week – did it actually happen and what excuse was given? Is it also true that acohol will be banned by Scotrail on Sunday ahead of the semi-final – but not Saturday? Has a reason been given for this?




  20. James Forrest is Lennon says:


    27 January, 2012 at 12:49



    What a question to ask:



    You see that rule you’ve got, do you mind just not using it?



    Erm, why?



    Erm, cos.

  21. Jelavic…..this years boumsong ? or this years hutton ?



    whats for sure is that Jelavic has done absolutely nothing to justify an increase in value since signing for Rangers



    In his last season for Rapid he scored 28 goals in 48 games. His current hit rate is 17 in 28…….virtually the same strike rate in a similar quality league…..however with the crucial difference that 30 % of his goals now come from penalties…..so his strike rate is actually worse than when he was at rapid






    2 goals in 8 european games for Rangers , and 9 in 12 for Rapid would suggest he has in no way improved in the most competitive environment



    He has never scored a goal in competitive International Football…….not a single goal. To describe him as an International class footballer is highly misleading



    so no improvement in any way since he signed for Rangers for £4 million…….any potential buyer will be fully aware of that, and nobody will pay much above the fee Rangers did



    no matter how much Whyte gets the Daily Record to regurgitate the tough talk

  22. James Forrest is Lennon says:


    27 January, 2012 at 12:49



    My reading of the paragraph is slightly different. It sounds like perhaps a different UEFA clause, as it refers specifically to parent companies, owning existing football clubs. If it was the case that Rangers FC were to cease to exist entirely end be re-born as a totally new club, I’m not sure the parent company rule would come into action. It would be a totally new entity.



    Just my take, I’m more than likely wrong.

  23. You’ve got to feel sorry for ‘Herald Sport’ this morning (OK, you don’t)



    Big banner splash on front page of main paper : ‘Rangers trial for Nigerian striker Uchebo.’



    The headline in the sports section is ‘Rangers look at Uchebo as West Ham plan new Jelavic bid. Well, they did look at him, for five minutes before he shot the craw. Taxi drivers in Milngavie must be doing a bomb taking trialists back to the airport.



    And the new Jelavic bid? Graeme MacPherson’s actual words : ‘Sources in London had suggested West Ham were weighing up an improved bid of £7.5m.’ So, in the eyes if this LL, weighing up becomes new bid. YOU couldn’t make up, but they do.

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