Michael, they have taken you away… from Ibrox


If you aggregate the nods, winks and rumours around Celtic this week you might be inclined to think we’re in the market for a target-man striker with a few years’ experience under his belt.  I agree with the principle that we need a target man and I’m also of the view that short-term deals are not nearly as desirable as permanent contracts, but as we know, it’s too easy to load the club full of squad players who cumulatively cost a lot of money but scarcely trouble the first team.

Hooper, Stokes, Samaras, Bangura, Rasmussen and Murphy are all under contract for next season and we cannot be confident of attracting bids for any of those Neil Lennon might want to move on.  If we add a seventh striker, his name better be on the team sheet before Gary Hooper’s.  Signing an exotic version of Daryl Murphy would add spice to our week but would only consume scarce resources.  I’d rather not.

Co-opting a media partner works in theory.  It’s always better to have good relationships with the media than the kind of relationships Celtic perennially have, but what happens when your media partner plays with a straight bat?

Rangers media partner, STV, today report Nigerian trialist, Michael Uchebo, boarded a plane out of Glasgow a few hours after arriving (Michael, they have taken you away….) as the VVV-Venlo striker with 8 career goals to his name had “a poor first impression of” Rangers.

Michael, you clearly have a rubbish strike rate but you’re a remarkably perceptive individual.

Issue 6 of CQN Magazine is currently being prepared; drop me a line if you would like to advertise, celticquicknews@gmail.com.

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  1. At the end of what has been a pretty awful week for me personally and professionally I would like to thank Paul67 for this article! ‘Michael they have taken you away’! Indeed.



    Oh, and I suppose I have to thank Rangers too for providig the platform for such hilarious trialist stories………..

  2. Tonight on STV News:



    More transfer window excitement at Murray Park as manager of the year elect Ally McCoist runs the rule over two more international superstars to see if they are worthy of a deal with the glorious Glasgow Rangers.



    Meanwhile over at rivals Celtic, an angry Neil Lennon has brought in several unknowns to add to his already bloated squad.

  3. james Forrest,



    Unfortunately I have little faith in the suits that govern football anymore. Therefore nothing would surprise me at this point.



    I sincerely hope that your faith is rewarded.



    Of course if Derry are knocked back then a useful precedent is set.




  4. northbhoy ... \o/ on

    Clash of the Titans still a fantastic game, soon be into their fifth hour of play. How long does a marathon take again. Looks as if the Mighty Murray is slipping, live in Hope though.



    Anybody else left Rankers trialist conveyor belt and why was wee baw McC did not meet Michael Uchebo. do you think wee baw face was away getting his wages from the Post Office !

  5. RogueLeader says:


    27 January, 2012 at 12:56



    Hehe, PhilMac tweeted that last night.



    Or pusbooked it, cannae mind.



    Funny nonetheless.

  6. I can’t see Murray winning this now. He’s having to fight for everything on his own serve while Djokivic is steamrollering him when serving. Fingers crossed.

  7. I agree with Paul’s premise that we should not bring in another striker unless he is better than the legion of forwards we seem to have on our books already. I did argue that we should have gone for a short term loan deal for Robbie Keane. The guaranteed goals, even in a relatively short period, would just about have wrapped up the league. Unless we can find a ‘proven’ goal scorer within the next week any long term injury to either Hoops or Anto Stokes will have serious repercussions t on our title aspirations. Come on the Celtic board do not let us down again.

  8. oldtim67 says:


    27 January, 2012 at 12:58



    You mean on the interwebs?



    If so, hold down ctrl and scroll your mouse wheel up just a tad.

  9. General question. Does CQN interfere with your work productivity? Or are you all on shifts, retired, in a different time zone or unemployed?

  10. Steinreignedsupreme on

    Paul67 –



    Ha ha ha ha!



    “Michael, they have taken you away…”



    You’ll have the Rangers lunatic fringe in a tizzy with that. Expect a deluge of hate mail and a chap at the door from the enforcers of the Inappropriate Behaviour Act…



    But you’re right, boy is as sharp as a tack – well, outside the box anyway…

  11. Murray masterminded his own downfall by disappearing completely during the 4th set. That gave complete momentum back to a very shaky Djokivic who hasn’t put a foot wronf since. As I said earlier, he is one of the world’s best at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

  12. Oldtim



    stood at the start,bent down, lit my Montecristo No.5 and strolled across the coals

  13. derbyshirebhoy on

    RobertTressell says:


    27 January, 2012 at 12:56






    Your’s are one blogger’s comments I always take note of so I’m sorry to hear of your troubles and hope next week picks you up again.




  14. Tommy Joad



    Gladiators? Seriously!!



    Two, silver spooned, yahoos hitting a wee ball.

  15. Deniabhoy,



    Agree, while Murray has played some good stuff, it looked to me like he gave up on the fourth set at 3-0.



    Has now cost him badly by the looks of it.




  16. Poor Rangers, no one likes them… not even trialists from abroad who have probably never even heard of them…!




  17. “For you stole travellians corn, so the young might see the morn (or in the case of Michael from nigeria, couldn’t stop laughin at the huns!!!!) now the plane can’t get you away from murray park quick enough.”



    As low as his strike rate is at least his soul was saved from eternal dammnation!!!!.

  18. Afraid Andy Murray is a text-book choker.



    He does the hard work, gets in front or back level, then just when he’s established a platform to go on ahead the unforced errors come out.



    He falls behind again, gets angry and pressures off and plays a couple of sublime points.



    He doesn’t seem to believe in himself enough yet, so when he gets ahead he doubts himself and self-destructs.



    Maybe Lendl is exactly what he needs.



    Brilliant gag Paul67:)

  19. brilliant by Murray, Djokovic serving for match and loses to love. being scottish he’ll now lose his own serve and match!!

  20. glendalystonsils on

    Michael obviously felt the same nausea and revulsion that I feel when I’m anywhere near I brokes.

  21. Matt Lindsay of Evening Times, spot the obvious flaw to his story.



    CASH-RICH Russians CSKA Moscow COULD be set to test Rangers’ resolve – by tabling a bumper £8million bid for striker Nikica Jelavic.



    Ibrox owner Craig Whyte is trying to hold out for at least £9m for Scotland’s top scorer.



    But CSKA’s offer – just £1m below their asking price – COULD seriously tempt them to part company with the Croatian hitman.




    Celtic COULD be about to pull off a dramatic double swoop for Ronaldo & Messi… :)




  22. The Honest Mistake loves being first on

    Michael was last heard saying “Let me get this straight!! You want me to play in the same team as Sonne Aluko against Rabby Ibrahim?”

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