Michael, they have taken you away… from Ibrox


If you aggregate the nods, winks and rumours around Celtic this week you might be inclined to think we’re in the market for a target-man striker with a few years’ experience under his belt.  I agree with the principle that we need a target man and I’m also of the view that short-term deals are not nearly as desirable as permanent contracts, but as we know, it’s too easy to load the club full of squad players who cumulatively cost a lot of money but scarcely trouble the first team.

Hooper, Stokes, Samaras, Bangura, Rasmussen and Murphy are all under contract for next season and we cannot be confident of attracting bids for any of those Neil Lennon might want to move on.  If we add a seventh striker, his name better be on the team sheet before Gary Hooper’s.  Signing an exotic version of Daryl Murphy would add spice to our week but would only consume scarce resources.  I’d rather not.

Co-opting a media partner works in theory.  It’s always better to have good relationships with the media than the kind of relationships Celtic perennially have, but what happens when your media partner plays with a straight bat?

Rangers media partner, STV, today report Nigerian trialist, Michael Uchebo, boarded a plane out of Glasgow a few hours after arriving (Michael, they have taken you away….) as the VVV-Venlo striker with 8 career goals to his name had “a poor first impression of” Rangers.

Michael, you clearly have a rubbish strike rate but you’re a remarkably perceptive individual.

Issue 6 of CQN Magazine is currently being prepared; drop me a line if you would like to advertise, celticquicknews@gmail.com.

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  1. Lennon n Mc....Mjallby on

    The last time Killie won the Scottish I was very pleased for them,actually willed them on in St.Brendans csc in some midlands steel town,can remember one of the ML Tims who I think ran the club giving me pelters but time has moved on,older and wiser I just have to say-



    Mon Ayr Utd!

  2. ….Leafing through my bedside copy of Friedrich Engels book, “Anti-Duhring”……….(there’s a title, eh?).



    It’s just getting bitchy.

  3. This one is way out of sequence but I have a wee fondness for it. It was not posted on CQN, it was posted on the Scotsman, no need to bold the date on this one, it is from a different set.





    17/07/2009 07:13:55



    Here’s another one for you. James McCarthy will be a Celtic player next week.



    Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.



    Another from the Scotsman, as you can see, the Prince lived on the Gold Coast. Did I ever tell you that he, Edmond Dantes (who also lived on the Gold Coast) and Gold coast Tom are all the same age, all came to Australia at the same time etc. etc. and all had a son who played for Cowdenbeath at the same time etc. etc.?



    Prince Myshkin,


    Gold Coast, Australia 06/09/2007 09:17:27



    #16 – Jam Bow – Thank you very much. I just knew there would be one who would fall for it hook, line and sinker. Well done. You are it. You have made my day.






    Bye now ;-)

  4. Good morning CQN



    From a cold and frosty ML8 morning.



    BlantyreTim – all sorted with my Mum’s accident, the reg was one digit out, a nice policeman (yes that one) helped her out.



    Thank yoda – wasn’t looking forward to my Saturday trying sort it out.



    Hey, Big Philbhoy – trust all is well!







  5. West Wales Celt says:


    28 January, 2012 at 10:30



    Mate you were not alone, if you could read some of the stuff I’ve been reading this past few hours, and all written by the same person under various guises. He wound up a lot of people over the years and he has been stabbing me in the back since he came here. I’ve been putting up with his sh*t all this time. I don’t forget and now I think it is time to out him completely, but it may take me a few days or maybe even weeks to get there. I’m in no rush. I spoke to our host about it almost two years ago. Our host knows what has been going on but I don’t think the blog in general does or has that much interest until it is they who are subjected to his inane abuse. I’ve had it with his lies and weird innuendos.

  6. Some say that he had to travel to The Maureen Alpha to get his ear pierced


    and that on a recent walk along the beach the coconut palms all bowed.



    All we know is he’s Victor Wanyama

  7. Philbhoy - It's just the beginning! on




    In the pink, big man!



    This is my first Saturday off for months!



    Mum and Olivia got breakfast in bed, I’ve been on the blog since six, watched the tennis, now the golf.



    I might just sit around in my jammies all day!



    What’s not to like?



    Enjoyed the quiz last night! I coulda won it!



    Hope you and yours are well! Hope Mum is ok after the “bump”.



    Take care!



    Oh, and i fancy Hibs will get something today.



    The huns heads must be down at their knees with all the worry and cr*p publicity.

  8. Philbhoy - It's just the beginning! on

    I should have added that I do not think the hun players are delusional, they know the score.



    Certainly the trialists who are keeping the revolving door spinning cannot be kidded.

  9. Barcabhoy says:


    28 January, 2012 at 10:18





    The depths to which Melchester Rovers and Sir Sam Barlow were willing to plumb defy belief!




  10. are things still bad over at ibrox?



    check out this wee gem this morning



    Saturday’s Scottish gossip


    Page last updated at 08:46 GMT, Saturday, 28 January 2012


    E-mail this to a friendPrintable version FOOTBALL GOSSIP



    Former Rangers boss Alex McLeish says Barcelona superstar Lionel Messi almost moved to Ibrox on loan during the 2003/04 season




    and how does this help them now? if even true, why would it make them happy 8/9 years later – Messi would have been 16/17? then



    suppose any good news story will do for now



    any other 1 day wonders arrived yet….sorry i meant any other players sent home by fat sally to mull over what kind of deal to give them ha ha

  11. TMWTL



    apart from last season Wilson`s time at CFC has largely been an injury ridden nightmare



    not his fault but why pay wage for a player who is rarely available



    i`d keep Dan tho`

  12. I wondered where this went to, apologies for the language.






    Juarez sha***d a transvestite! Woohoh oh oh ohhoh! Join Date: 22-01-2010


    Location: Free from the filth & the scum


    Posts: 1,064



    Re: Celtic Quick News Claiming To Have Proof Of Altered Match Reports




    This is quite simple really, the only way we are going to shut them up is to murder the lot of them.



    I am currently in dialogue with Azure Catering over a price for lacing all pies, bovrils, burgers etc etc with anthrax at the new year derby, currently they’re looking for a fair wad the fenian bast**ds so if any one cares to donate to the cause please drop me a PM.



    Also I would encourage all bears to start carrying knifes, stab anyone in green and grey and it will be much appreciated.



    Operation ‘One by one we’re coming for you ****s’ will be beneficial to all once completed.

  13. The Battered Bunnet on




    You know I hold you in high regard, but what value is all of this adding?




  14. Philbhoy - It's just the beginning! on




    I remember seeing that at the time.



    You will also remember that multiple arrests, convictions and long jail sentences were handed out by the courts, following extremely quick work by plod to round up the pepetrators.



    Yes, I remember it well!!!!!

  15. The Battered Bunnet:



    I don’t understand what you mean by ‘value’.



    Why am I proving we have a liar and a evil twister on here? well simply put – it’s becasue he used this platform to repeatedly denigrate me, and others, under various guises. He has my phone number and e-mail address (I don’t have his) and I have on several occassions tried to take this off-line, but that snake is not man enough.



    He used this platform to get nasty at me, as the most abused by him, I reserve the right to respond in kind.



    He spent years snydeing me on here, I’m going to get even – on here. He can stop it by admitting all his past indiscretions – under all his various guises – so all the posters he abused are aware of who it was who abused them, or I continue.



    Do you think that is unfair?



    By the way, the respect is mutual.

  16. Philbhoy – It’s just the beginning! says:


    28 January, 2012 at 11:07



    I was not aware of that mate.

  17. The Battered Bunnet:



    Let me ask you a SINCERE question…



    Are you aware how many monikers and logins he has had?

  18. Philbhoy - It's just the beginning! on




    I was being facetious!!



    No arrests, no investigation, nothing as far as I can remember!



    And these scumbags are still free to post their bile.

  19. Philbhoy – It’s just the beginning! says:


    28 January, 2012 at 11:19



    Sorry mate, I didn’t pick up on it.



    It is one of the more nasty posts that I have seen, and many have been arrested for much less.

  20. Just watching ‘Still Game’ – the action is in “The Clansman” and the scene I think is called…..Two Bald Men and The Comb…….




    Comedy classic.

  21. Philbhoy - It's just the beginning! on

    SSN – ran*ers release Uchuba after unsuccessful trial at poundland.



    Ye couldny make it up!

  22. Barrach Obampot on

    kit @11:00



    I complained to Strathclyde Police about that particular post and after ten months, seven emails, and one letter they have just informed me they haven’t apprehended the poster, which I’m sure will come as a huge surprise to you. I’m going to speak to a friend in IT to see if their excuse is valid. If not I’m taking it up with my MSP.