More cunning than Tiger Woods at a cocktail bar


I’ve been meaning to speak to you about this for a while; thought I would wait until the new season, see if anything changed, maybe we could avoid having the chat.

There are different ways of watching football games.  There’s the way we watch World Cup games, as unpartisan observers, which is completely different to the way we watch Celtic games.  If I’m watching a game in the English lower leagues with a one-time Celtic target, I’ll watch him closely, usually paying scant regard to anyone else.  The same is true if I’m watching the likes of Wigan with Sean Maloney.

When I watch a game before writing a match report I often get a different perspective.  The game flows in the normal manner but I then have to look at my notes and compose a report.  It’s the notes that are often unexpected, they tell a story of incidents, not of what is essentially a pursuit which flows for 90 minutes.  For Celtic, the incidents overwhelmingly, often as much as 80% of the time, involve one player.

He’s not the quickest, the most industrious, or the strongest, but Kris Commons makes things happen at a level no one else at Celtic comes close to.  The evidence screams out at me every time I check my notes.

I’m sure Celtic will recognise this with a new contract but there’s reason to worry about this now.  What if he’s injured, what if opponents figure out they better stop supply to him, what if his form shades, as it did two years ago?

I like the look of the squad.  Lustig, Matthews, Izaguirre, Ambrose, Brown, Mulgrew, Johansen, Forrest, Biton, Stokes, Griffiths, Forster and van Dijk offer consistent standards of performance, most look comfortable in Champions League football, but the dependence on one creative talent feels like an unnecessary vulnerability.

As I said, football is not an incident-dependent sport, like golf, it is a flowing pursuit which requires industry, concentration and strategy, without which, the creatives would end up playing lower league football.  But to win games, you need someone to invoke six of seven incidents more cunning than Tiger Woods at a cocktail bar*.

*Kris Commons behaviour at cocktail bars is impeccable, he is capable of on-field cunning only.

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  1. squire danaher/Jamesgang



    I only posted his tweet :-)



    Doesn’t really matter what any of us think it’ll only become an issue if the manager decides it is.



    Right affski.

  2. South Of Tunis on

    Champions League ?



    Scrolling through the tv channels and up pops the highlights of Valletta / Qarabag FK . I had to Google Qarabag FK —— Champions of Azerbaijan .



    Blatter / Platini -so much to answer for

  3. First line from Daily Rectum report……………



    RED-FACED Rangers suffered a nightmare start to their North American tour with a shock loss to Ventura County Fusion.



    “SHOCK LOSS”……..anyone on here shocked…??



    Can Sevco be relegated next season or more so will they be allowed to be relegated..??



    I don’t see them getting many points on this showing, albeit was preseason, and throw in an administration, methinks they won’t stay up, or will the SFL shoehorn them back in..??

  4. vinniethedog on

    I thought we were terribly light weight last night …..Six out of ten outfield players left footed!!!…..surely some sort of record ..



    Underwhelmed by team in general…..thought lustig struggled especially for pace …Johansson for me is a case of emperor’s new clothes !!!…..I just can’t see it ….tried and tried but just can’t see it……..we severely lack pace and maybe even more worryingly a physicallity

  5. Senhores,



    Whilst the prowess of Ventura Red Star (or whithever their name is) has given most a fine pre-season chuckle. I have two words for those forecasting doom n gloom for FC Skint…..



    …..Greuther Fürth



    Pre-season shock results are only worth short term slaggin value, (unfortunately, in this case) no real indicator of how the season ahead will pan oot.

  6. gene’s a bhoys name



    Fair enough, but how much crap would we have to endure had Celtic played the mighty Fusion and lost 3-1.



    There’s pre-season to achieve match fitness – and then there’s pre-season we’ve been on the pop all night and were crap.



    Spin it any way they like but they didn’t start with minnows so they could be defeated – they wanted to rack up some goals and put on an exhibition.



    They only made an exhibition of themselves :o)




  7. Marrakesh Express on

    Anybody hear about or even witness an orc walk on Benidorm promenade at the weekend? My neighbour said it was particularly loud and as obnoxious as ever. He saw a young guy in hoops being verbally abused while the local cops stood watching.


    I know the council barred them about 6 years ago but it seems the bigots are back.

  8. thomthethim for Oscar OK on

    I cannot for the life of me see any logical reason for Them travelling to the USA.



    It’s not as if they are taking the teams to the diaspora. There were only about thirty of them their, plus Gough.



    There are plenty of teams, of all levels, scattered around Europe, for them to teat their fitness. Something fishy about the whole thing.


    Could they be their to gather funds?



    Is there a Hunaid committee over there, who can pile a stack of dollar bills into the team hamper for the return journey?



    They need some kind of funding to keep the lights on and it is not coming in through traditional channels.



    I wonder to they take Norn Irn Bank notes too.



    Hush, what is that racket I hear?

  9. TBJ says Wee Oscar Knox is in heaven with the angels on

    Don’t really understand all the mirth about the tribute act losing at soccer in the us of a



    There’s many much funnier stories about sevco than that

  10. During Sevco defeat the ref books Wallace (?) and you can hear the crowd singing, “who’s the fenian in the black?’ – new club – same fans.

  11. Marrakesh Express on




    If there was indeed a hamper full of Hunaid cash, the spivs would be along the road to Vegas with it in two ticks.

  12. ruggygman



    18:08 on 16 July, 2014


    Did anyone else watch the most recent Scotland international friendly, and see the guy Christ Martin (I think) of derby county. His hold up and link play was excellent….. I thought to myself, that’s exactly what Celtic need as a No.9…..




    I thought he had a great game in the time that he had. Reminded me a bit of Sutton. Don’t know anything about him though apart from that game. We do need a front man with a bit more physique who can also play a bit.

  13. McCoist was last night introduced as `legendary`. That`s very very true. He is legendary in every Celtic supporters eyes. Long may he stay (ke bake)

  14. thomthethim for oscar ok



    They’re so stooopid they might try a fundraiser in Boston!!!



    HH jamesgang

  15. lilys grandpa on




    His father came from East Kilbride, still got relatives there. I know you were looking for more substantial info, but thats my lot! ;)




  16. ....PFayr supports WeeOscar on

    A concerning header above …is it news management re no new deal for Commons ?



    Not signing up players in case they get injured or lose form is a nonsense approach …you’d never sign anyone



    With the above in mind why did we sign Myoukolo and Boeriggter ….perma injured …



    Pukki ….lost his form



    Or does the above caveat only apply where players won’t be signed up on the cheap and have a reasonable resale value



    Sorry …not buying it

  17. Looking through some of the earlier posts and can’t believe some of the guff directed towards KC , by far our most direct and influential player! ! Though gets stick due to lacking a yard. ………was lubo the quickest? ? For the record I have met KC several times when my lad has got his autograph, Kris is anything but heavy, he unfortunately appears heavier in the hoops ie hooper murdoch and even lubo !

  18. lilys grandpa on

    Jobo Baldie,



    Trust me, was in same year at St.Brides as his dad,






    ps. Also been in Ek all my life

  19. An orc walk in Benidrom – whit?



    About ten years ago, made the mistake of actually choosing to go to Majorca for a mid winter week (January). My impressions were not good from the start, but when I walked up to the front door of the local Spar my heart sank through the floor.



    The sign had been handwritten by a hand belonging to someone who only otherwise wrote betting slips. It read “we cell buckfast”



    The pace was overrun with jaikies and assorted associates.



    Most miserable 7 day holiday ever, and we have never gone back to the island.



    Wonder what the poor Spanish think of the imports from Scotland.



    Think I know.

  20. mullet and co 2 on

    I demand that all players have their body fat measured weekly on CQN on a Friday… We should also have their ability to trap a ball measured by firing 10 balls at them from an equidistant cannon. They would then be measured on traps within 1 foot of their body. Probably wouldn’t end the debates but would sure shut a few know it alls up.

  21. thomthethim for Oscar OK on

    marrakesh express



    19:38 on 16 July, 2014





    If there was indeed a hamper full of Hunaid cash, the spivs would be along the road to Vegas with it in two ticks.





    Mmmmm! Never thought of that. Unlesssss, it’s only handed over before they board the plane.






    Fundraiser in Boston, you say.



    Yea, that might work!

  22. WeefratheTim on

    Good evening all.



    Unfortunately I won’t manage to make the game on tuesday, as it is my mums funeral.



    If you contact Paul67, he will give you my email address.



    I will post it out FOC.



    HT, BMCUW, BT and marspapa also have my mobile contact. I hope this can help someone out.



    Weefra HH praying to Wee Oscar.

  23. WeefratheTim on

    Oops, meant to say I have a ticket for the game. (Wit a tit) :-)



    Weefra HH praying to Wee Oscar.

  24. mullet and co 2



    Fat % testing of CQNers would be a giggle too!



    HH jamesgang

  25. WeefratheTim on




    We are all well. All proceedings have been attended to, just the odd loose end to complete. Nothing of any importance. Thanks for your thoughts, this is a wonderful place to be part of when the chips are down, and I already said we have been overwhelmed by the support we have had. My ole mum would have been delighted with the posts that where attributed to her. The older she got, the more she enjoyed the limelight. She really was a mum and a half.



    Weefra HH praying to Wee Oscar.