Football’s impudent scamps have long caused more annoyance than actual harm to their clubs. Many live by a different moral code to the rest of us which leads to all sorts of excesses, including the occasional violent bust-up.
Can you kick a team mate on the training field and punch him in the dressing room? You bet, there are hundreds of precedents for you. You can certainly kick lumps out of an opponent, but what about doling out racial references in the middle of a game?
The use of a racist term in my office, and I’m sure your workplace, would lead to summary disciplinary procedures, but football has a way of looking at miscreants through rose tinted lenses. The hoary old defence on these occasions, be if for footballers or anyone else, is ‘He’s not a racist, some of his best friends are….’.
This doesn’t matter. The guilty party may be more rascal than racist but he needs to be treated in the same way anyone else using racist language in the workplace would be. English football has done enormous work to combat racism since the 1980s but it’s in danger of undermining these efforts by accommodating people who should know better.
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Many thanks to those who have helped get the magazine off and flying this year. Everyone who has contributed (or even read) are invited to the Cathedral House Hotel in Glasgow on Friday evening for a Christmas drink. Target time is 20:30, see you there.
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Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavour is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!
(thumbsup)
hail hail
All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Crazy, but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it’s not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life’s a bitter shame
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
Let’s Go!
I’ve listened to preachers
I’ve listened to fools
I’ve watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeah
Heirs of a cold war
That’s what we’ve become
Inheriting troubles I’m mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I’m living with something’ that just isn’t fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what’s to blame
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
TTTT
Immodium?
Kittoch- you have beeb taking a peek at next year’s kitchen calender with your wee anecdotes.Was MS package ok?
Back in Black…shun
MS Package downloaded as a trial? sent J an e-mail
did yours work?
An oldie but a goldie
December 14, 1986
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Agnes
December 15, 1986
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
December 16, 1986
Dear John:
Oh! Aren’t you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don’t deserve such generosity, three French hens.
They are just darling but I must insist, you’ve been too kind.
All my love,
Agnes
December 17, 1986
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don’t you think enough is enough.
You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 1986
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You’re just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 1986
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps.
So you’re back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them?
The neighbors are complaining and I can’t sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 1986
John:
What’s with you and those freaking birds??
Seven swans a swimming. What kind of #### joke is this?
There’s bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can’t sleep at night and I’m a nervous wreck. It’s not funny.
So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 1986
OK. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the #### am I going to do with 8 maids a milking?
It’s not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their #### cows.
There is manure all over the lawn and I can’t move in my own house. Just lay off me, smart*ss.
Agnes
December 22, 1986
Hey S**thead:
What are you…..some kind of sadist? Now there’s nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They’ve never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning and one of them looks like bjmac.
The cows are getting upset and they’re stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
You’ll get yours !
Agnes
December 23, 1986
You rotten jerk::
Now there’s ten ladies dancing. I don’t know why I call those sluts ladies.
They’ve been b**ling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can’t sleep and they’ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river of ####.
The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn’t be condemned. I’m calling the police on you !
Agnes
December 24, 1986
Listen Sh*thead:
What’s with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again.
Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows.
All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They’ve been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you’re satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
You’re sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 1986
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total.
All correspondence should come to our attention.
If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole
tommytwiststommyturns Kano 1000 – We regret to announce that the crazy train has been delayed due to the wrong type of dementia on the tracks. (thumbsup)
We have been offered Pavel Pogrebnyak of Stuttgart in January for a small fee, his contract runs out in the summer
Boyd will not be going back to Rangers.
I have heard many, many versions of this song, but this is the best version I have ever heard…..…..bar none.
Hamiltontim
I hear you but I imagine you either saw the bag snatcher grab the bag or you jumped on him after someone’s calls for help and you saw the guy run with the bag.
Good on you BTW. Sadly even if soneone breaks into your home and the thief injures themselves either via a little enforcement or is bitten by you dog you can be charged.
You can also be charged with usi g excessive force defending yourself from attack.
Crazy world but I personally think the Big Man was bang out of order as was the conductor for allowing a young boy to be manhandled off the train. Even if he did skip on, although wrong, it’s hardly the crime of the century. The police should have been called to meet the train at the next station.
MWD
MWD
Insightful lyric of the day:
“Christmas comes this time each year”
Thanks, Brian and Mike. (thumbsup)
Paul67
I fear you are being too kind.
JT is more reptile than rascal.
He has form as long as your arm regarding him being seen as rocket.
Cheap shot merchant of the highest order with the money to fund a very good PR operation.
To denigrate someone by commenting on their skin pigment shows a lack of class, intellect and maturity at the very least. It is the lowest form of abuse practiced by the lowest form of individuals.
Is it co-incidence, after seeing the establishment bring sectarianism to the foreground in Scotland, (but in a way which seems to target the minority thus encouraging the bigot mind), that we may now be witnessing the same thing happening regards racial tensions in England. Some of the attacks on Stan Collymore yesterday were disgusting.
If I had a half a brain, I’d be convinced certain authorities were actively encouraging divisions within society. But that’s just silly, eh!
Re Jimmy and Sammy,
Woke up this morning thinking about these two running amock in the front wide of midfield.
Quite a pairing. And with Hooper and Stokes up front, on a level playing field, with proper MIB protection of our players, we could easily tank this mob 6 nil next week. That could lead to more arrests though amongst the Celtic Support though, due to aggressive celebrations and what not, so I’ll settle for 4 nil, and the erse tearing in Moisty’s troosers on national TV when he bends over to tie his shoe laces.
Nacho Novo back training at Ibrokes.
For every Diver you suspend
philvisreturns – you’re defo blackmailing P67 for these podiums, ya rascal…! :-)
TTTT
heard this on the olde crystal set this morning
Moonbeams WD. \o/ Supporting Neil Lennon 100%. says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:24
Said as much myself. The conductor handled it poorly.
On another note my grandad (Bless him) was a train driver. Drove the football specials in the 60’s and 70’s. Took Hearts & Hibs on their journeys to Glasgow as he was an Edinburgh man. Also took the train down to London for the Wembley Scotland matches.
The one and only time he drove Rangers fans from Glasgow to Edinburgh they pulled the emergency cord 3 times before they even left Glasgow. The 4th time my Granda jumped off the train and started walking to the next town for a pint.
He never drove them again and if they didn’t have a spare driver that day they would still be sitting there.
A real mans man my Granda not a Celtic man but a good man. My auld man never had much time for Edinburgh punters but respected his father in law. That story probably cemented their relationship.
LB
http://thefrontofthebus.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-eve-with-kilmarnock.html
Neil Lennon confirms Scott Brown, Adam Matthews James Forrest have all been asked to play for Team GB.
Can’t believe people on here are having a go at the Big Man. Describing him as a bully is completely unfair. He didn’t randomly pick on someone to throw out for a laugh.
He removed an obnoxious young man (or “a wee D###” to give him the proper term) who did not have a valid ticket, was using foul and abusive language and was holding up a train. The only reason he has a scratch on his face is because he struggled and tried to force his way back on to the train, despite being told his bag was waiting for him on the platform.
I laughed heartily when I watched the video and thought this ignoramous will learn a valuable lesson from this and take his humble pie.
Couldn’t believe it when he appeared on the news with his tabloid-esque “sad face” :-( bleating about being unfairly treated.
As for people criticising the conductor, what on earth is he supposed to do? He asked him about a dozen times to produce a ticket or pay for one.
It’s the equivalent of standing at Morrison’s supermarket trying to pay for a loaf of bread with an Asda voucher, holding everyone up including young families, refusing to leave then bleating when someone does the right thing and removes you from the premises.
Quite sad that in our society a 19 year old can behave like a spoiled, obnoxious little child then play the “I know my rights cards” when he is finally dealt with like an adult.
Ten Men Won The League says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:22
I think we have been linked with that guy previously, not sure about how good he is. I just hope we get a striker who can head the ball into the net. Seems ages since we have had this threat. We’re doing well at the moment, but I would like a ‘plan b’ striker.
I think Boyd is nailed on to return to the hun. Can you elaborate further on your information.
Thanks
Árd Macha
Neil Lennon confirms interest in Boyd! No thanks Neil.
http://sport.stv.tv/football/scottish-premier/celtic/289976-celtic-manager-interested-in-kris-boyd/
Awe_Naw_No_Annoni_Oan_Anaw_Noo says:
22 December, 2011 at 12:58
HEARTS midfielder Ryan Stevenson has informed the club he will not play for them again after a request to terminate his contract was refused.
*******
Surely a case for Fraser Wishart’s union to get involved in.
Perhaps he doesn’t wish to set a precedent, in case any other club find themselves in difficulties.
share
Ten Men,
I’d take him Pavel. Remember him when he was at Zenit. Goal Machine with that head. Liked Pavychenko out of the two mind you.
How much are they charging Novo to train with them? HH
tommytwiststommyturns Kano 1000 – you’re defo blackmailing P67 for these podiums, ya rascal…!
I know his secret identity. Remember Vince the Parrot?
http://image.wetpaint.com/wiki/Vince+the+Parrot/image/1LA$lc4cNdnzQGfktdTHyXw==10084/GW196H226 (thumbsup)
bournesouprecipe – Neil Lennon confirms Scott Brown, Adam Matthews James Forrest have all been asked to play for Team GB.
Sweet.
Sadly, I don’t think these chaps will have a chance to play in a World Cup or European Championship anytime soon, so it would be great to see them play at the Olympics. (thumbsup)
Extraordinary says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:42
Surely some mind games from Lennon! Wouldn’t have a problem with him coming if I thought he could add something mind you.
Paul67 et al
Just catching up on your previous articles about the fine little mess we / Scotland finds itself in over the new legislation.
My thoughts are what did you expect.
AS is playing to the gallery and the judicial establishment with their middle class, Sunday Post, Kirk attending attitudes were only too happy to oblige.
Things are getting so bad I am ready to join the GB.
Hopefully they will think about what is going on and respond accordingly.
They need to use humour to get their point across.
They need to get others onboard to support their aims.
One thing in their favour is that the judicial establishment / SNP muppets mightbhave overplayed their hand and that a wave of high profile arrests for very little will not be able to sustained either in public opinion or through the courts.
Too many people are just itching to get things started.
They will pile in and the best way to deal with them is humour and subtlety.
Consequently keep the sheets on the beds and take up Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs.
Ooh aah up the … Sun God.
PS
Idea stolen from KDS.
Hope ‘young’ Victor does’t start effing and blinding at the ref on the 28th,Davy’adult’Weir might lift him and throw him down the tunnel ..naw maybe James Forrest,Big Vic would be to much for him..
The Honest Cover-up says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:39
Could not agree more Well done the big man wish there was more like him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavel_Pogrebnyak
Doesn’t seem that hot.
Ard Macha@13:39
Pogrebnyak is available for circa £500k. The problem being his wages at Stuttgart are currently £60k a week, so even with a wage cut he would probably be out of our reach but you never know eh?
He was superb for Zenit in their run to the UEFA Cup Final in 2008. If he hadn’t been suspended for the Final, the score would have been more than 2-0
Regards Boyd, Sally is telling the hordes one thing but privately he has admitted that Rangers can’t afford him, even if he was on a free. Aside from that, the player himself is not interested in a return, and that is from the horses mouth in the last 24hours
Bear in mind that their recent diving acquisition, is on a massive £2k a week
The Honest Cover Up
The guy had right intentions but handled it all wrong. My mum and dad would have clattered me after seeing that video but would have been happy with the way I was man handled off the train.
I wouldn’t have done anything like that as a kid anyway. We couldn’t afford train fares. I had to go everywhere by bike!
LiviBhoy says:
22 December, 2011 at 12:50
The young lad on the train and the big man.
Poorly handled by the Scotrail employee.
The young lad was out of order. If he thought he was in the right he should have explained himself better and not used foul language.
Getting the lad off the train is fine but the way he and his bag was thrown off was shocking. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
The big man had the right intentions but dealt with it totally wrong.
Slap on the wrist for both and the Scotrail employee should be reprimanded by his employers.
I think it has all occured by two major factors in our society.
Some people have no respect for their elders or authority.
Some people have also lost the ability to communicate effectively. The young lad should have explained his situation better. Using foul and abusive language in front of women and children is a complete no no.
The clowns who clapped the big man should have been man enough to speak out in support of the Scotrail employee earlier. At no point should the train have been delayed. It should have been dealt with and police should have been on hand at his destination. It’s not that hard is it? Lessons must be learned and improvements made.
People will probably disagree but that’s my take on it.
LB
Celtic boss Neil Lennon says he would be interested in signing Kris Boyd, given the striker’s SPL scoring record.
Boyd, who left Rangers in 2009, is available on a free transfer having walked out on Turkish club Eskisehirspor earlier this week.
“He is a proven goalscorer and a player with a great SPL record,” Lennon said on Thursday. “So yes, I would be interested in him.
“We are speaking hypothetically of course. But no, I don’t think it would be a problem he has already played for Rangers.”
Boyd joined Rangers on this day six years ago, scoring 127 goals in 190 appearances, before leaving the club at the end of the 2009/10 season to play for Middlesbrough.
His time in England was short-lived, making 29 appearances for Boro before going on to score six in 12 games on loan at Nottingham Forest, before a move to Turkey to play for Eskisehirspor.
That move also turned sour and the Scotland international returned home this week, having played just 76 minutes and having gone unpaid since signing for the club.
Ah lunch – and what have we here, after yesterday’s excess – a mingey wee cheese sandwich.
LiviBhoy says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:34
Moonbeams WD. \o/ Supporting Neil Lennon 100%. says:
22 December, 2011 at 13:24
Agreed regarding the conductor. In fairness to the Big Man he did ask first if he wanted him papped off. The conductor should have got the cops invloved. Although what a waste of everyone´s time, its annoying when everyone on a train has to wait on the transport police.
Barcelona is rife with pick pockets, by all accounts it really annoys the catalans that these people bring a bad name to city for it. I recently witnessed a catalan punching a pick pocket with his hand in some tourist hand bag and chased him off the metro. Suppose it is wrong but I quite the vigilantly spirit.