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Steven Naismith is not a beautician

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By on CQN BLOG & Comments

It feels like an age since we’ve seen Celtic but it was only 12 days ago.  Can you imagine what it’s been like for teams who lost their last game.  It must hurt.  Really, really, hurt.

I’m thinking about Hearts, of course!  Last time out they lost at home to a Dundee United side who had 34% possession but were able to frustrate Hearts and leave with all three points.  That leaves Hearts joint bottom with Kilmarnock on one point from four games.

Hearts have endured a torrid two months.  Preseason defeats at home to Orient and Spurs, and away to Fleetwood Town, set them up for a Glorious start to the season.  Their first competitive game of the season ended in a 0-0 draw, their only game not ending in defeat since May.  We’ll return to that game shortly.

Since then, it’s defeats have been delivered by Dundee, Falkirk in the League Cup, Viktoria Plzen twice and Motherwell, before that loss to United.

So it will be straightforward at Celtic Park tomorrow, right?  Not necessarily.  Hearts are a footballing shambles, who are underachieving at Olympian levels.  Their lowest possession level in those three league defeats was 60% – an indication that this is a team with all the resources who are poorly directed or motivated.

The outlier was their opening game draw.  That was achieved with 37% possession.  They limited their ambition, defended properly and managed to break with purpose on occasion.

If you were a beautician and somehow were tasked with managing a Scottish Premiership club, you would surely find it easier to come up with a game plan which didn’t extend beyond “Get everyone behind the ball”, than trying to figure out how to beat a Motherwell side, who themselves decided to get everyone behind the ball.

I’m not suggesting Steven Naismith is a beautician, you need to go to college to be a beautician these days, but he has a lot in common with a beautician who was asked to manage a top flight football club.  Both Steven and the beautician would send Hearts out tomorrow to get behind the ball.

If Celtic play to their strengths, none of this will matter, but we are not facing a bottom of the table squad tomorrow, just a team who are being managed like one.

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  1. An Tearmann on

    Auldheid

     

     

    Would you know if ffp….fsr rules where in any way implemented domestically by sfa?

     

     

    HH

  10. Drambowiecelt on

    Clunks…YOU post some top links .A lot go unnoticed..,Not here with me.

     

    Check out Jane Relf…….i

  13. GFTB on

    Today’s game .. would like to see Engels, Trusty, MacCowan & Idah … but think Bernardo, Scales, Hatate & Kyogo will be difficult to move …

     

     

    Delighted Brendan gets paid to make the important decisions… would love 3 Celtic park victories in the next 7 days …

     

     

    Here is hoping 🍀

  14. Drambowiecelt on

    @GFTB..Beautiful tune..

     

    #Keep them coming……..Maybe for a few mins….

     

    Our C QNrs will realise what we have got..

  16. Almore on

    In Dublin airport waiting on Edinburgh flight. Will be collecting for the Kano Foundation today. Please give generously to help the younger generation experience what we all love.

     

     

    🍀🍀

  19. Gene on

    Good morning from a dry but breezy North Wales

     

     

    Scaniel- thanks for the Kano link, a great cause and God Bless Martin and those carrying on his work.

  21. Celtic Mac on

    Looks like there is a good chance of rain during the match today, not necessarily a bad thing given the type of football Celtic are playing right now. Can see us scoring a few goals today.

  22. bigrailroadblues on

    Meeting the Dublin layabout aka Almore this morning. He’s collecting for the Kano Foundation at Celtic Park today. If you are able to do so, please give a few bob for a worthy cause. 👍

  23. An Tearmann on

    Morning Celts

     

    Matchday whey

     

    Kano foundation day

     

    Give generously

     

    Enjoy today and wrap up well

     

     

    HH

  26. Burnley78 on

    Almore

     

     

    Huge respect to you and all the Kano collectors.

     

     

    So good to see people like yourself keeping the Kano family legacy going.

     

     

    Seeing the joy on these kids faces and hearing them sing is a real pleasure at CP these days.

  33. Paul The Spark on

    Good to read Brendan talking about Greg Taylor. Maybe some of the experts amongst our fans should listen to him. He talks about the personality and leadership he brings to the dressing room and that he wants him given a new contract as a matter of urgency.

  37. Melvin Udall on

    Some excellent series to watch for those interested:

     

     

    1. Succession – Now TV & maybe Apple TB

     

    2. Ozark – Netflix

     

    3. Handmaids Tale – All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    4. Love/Hate – BBC iplayer

     

    5. Cry Wolf – All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    6. Severance – Apple TV

     

    7. Shrinking – Apple TV

     

    8. Kin – BBC iplayer

     

    9. The mafia only kills in Summer – All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    10. Dead Beautiful- All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    11. The Twelve (foreign version) – All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    12. Pablo Escobar – Netflix (about 100 30 min episodes though)

     

    13. Deutschland 83 – All 4 Channel 4 app

     

    14. Sherwood – BBC iplayer (this should be in top 5, but forgot about it)

     

    15. Manhunt – Apple TV (this should be in top 5, but forgot about it)

     

    1a. Mindhunter – Netflix (definitely should be 1 or 2 on this list)

  40. Melvin Udall on

    Fancy us to win 3 or 4-0 today. Have gone for the conservative 3-0 on Superbru!

     

     

    Kyogo, Bernardo & Idah. ⚽️⚽️⚽️😃🍀🇮🇪🍀🏆🏆🏆

  42. Fassreifen on

    Would like to know if the ref who “coached” Tom Lawrence was also on first name terms with the opposition players. Anyway, 3-0 to Celtic today.

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