Woody Allen and the Pope of Rome


There’s a moment in Woody Allan’s movie Bananas, after the leader of a military coup takes control, that he loses his faint grasp on rationality and plunges headlong into random nonsense.  He informs the inhabitants of his Latin American country that Swedish will be their new language and that underwear now should be worn as an outer garment.

BBC’s Jim Spence this morning reports that a Dundee United director, flush with the success of reaching the League Cup final, told him United want almost double the ticket allocation for the final than they were able to sell for the semi-final, as “We want to ensure as big a crowd as possible for the game, which we are sure the sponsors would want too”, and that he wants United fans in the Toryglen end of the stadium, or the Celtic end, as it’s known by everyone else in the land.

Sure, ask for more tickets than you were able to sell, but don’t justify your request on the basis that this will ensure a bumper crowd.  If anything, it will achieve the opposite.

Asking for the Celtic end is right up there with wearing your pants on top of your trousers.  It’s a random and irrational exercise of power by someone who is evidently in way over their head.  It’s technically possible to have United at the ‘Toryglen’ end, but it would achieve no benefit and only cause confusion and inconvenience to thousands.  If Woody Allen is short of quality material (which appears to be the case), he should spend some time here.

Scotland is not full of these types, but those there are seem to gravitate towards positions in our national game.  From now on, I’m going to think of United chairman Stephen Thompson with his pants on the outside.  Pantsman Thompson, seems an appropriate handle.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to listen to thousands sing “No Pope of Rome” at a public gathering.  The problem is not as significant as it was a few decades ago, and is largely limited to the embers of a dying sub-culture. The rest of the country has moved on, as have most Rangers fans. I’m not sure how, or if, you can check these excesses, but I’m sure they are overwhelmingly self-harming.

Kenny MacAskill, appointed Justice Minister in the SNP government on the basis of having selective hearing and being able to make absurd claims, left his post in November.  His government have yet to make any comment on yesterday. Nor have they repealed the politically-motivated Offensive Behaviour Act, or show they are remotely interested in asking for the laws they introduced to be enforced without fear or favour. The Act was aimed at you and is simply flawed. It is toxic, remains in place out of nothing more than bloody-mindedness and will be repealed at the first change of government.

Anyway, you’ve got a cup final to look forward to on the weekend of the CQN11 St Patrick’s Dinner at the Kerrydale Suite, on Friday 13 March.  Email me, celticquicknews@gmail.com to book your tickets.

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  1. Virgil van Dijk expects Celtic stay



    Posted at 11:48




    Virgil van Dijk believes is not expecting a transfer deadline day exit from Celtic – because the Scottish champions insist he is not for sale.



    Reported suitors Arsenal, Southampton and Sunderland have yet to make a move for the 23-year-old Dutch defender.




  2. St Mirren’s McLean in Aberdeen talks



    Posted at 11:52




    St Mirren have accepted an offer from Aberdeen for midfielder Kenny McLean, who is on his way to speak to the Pittodrie club.




    Interesting signing that.




  3. “having selective hearing and being able to make absurd claims”



    could be aimed at a lot of people




  4. From previous thread



    Livibhoy – the Unibet 4/1 Celtic comes with conditions – assuming you bet £10 at 4/1 you have to bet twice your winnings (ie £80) at prices no shorter than 2/5 before you can make a withdrawal.



    BMCUW – thanks for the mention re: the Thomson booking stats I flagged up Friday night and Saturday morning. I hope some managed to use the info to make a few bob in the 11/5 Celtic more cards and the 7/5 Thems under 40 card pts.

  5. SoT



    Interesting that in addition to Podolski and Shaqiri in on loan, Inter have also brought in Brozovic from Zagreb and now David Santon from Newcastle, also on loan.



    Don’t know how many can face us, but not all. Must be panicking after drawing the mighty Celtic in Europa League.



    Haven’t watched their last few games, but seems they flatter to deceive, or as we say here, “all fur coat and no knickers”

  6. squire danaher



    No danger! The Bhoy I met yesterday has a lot of graft with all the accounts he set up!




  7. Nearly 3 years to the day, I penned the lyrics to The Day the Rangers Died. Not sure I can surpass that, but I’ve gave it a go. Like to mess around with some video editing, and it’s a lot more enjoyable when your content is fun to work with that, and I’ve learned a lot in the last week or so.



    Hope this brings a smile to some faces on a cold Monday afternoon.



    The Lord of The Rangers






    *if you haven’t seen The Lord of the Rings, some of this may go over your head. You could either go and watch the near 10 hour trilogy…. or watch the 6min intro on youtube here






    **Need sound so probably NSFW, also I know it’s fairly long but try not to bail out before Bomber brown makes his entrance.




  8. embramike



    There is a UEFA ruling that basically means teams can play one newly signed player in EL who has played in CL for any other team that season.



    Inter therefore can only play one new player who has played in this seasons CL. They cannot play both Podolski and Shaqiri in the same match.

  9. 67Heaven .. CHALLENGING THE LIE ..I am wee Oscar / Neil Lennon.. Ipox belongs to the creditors on

    squire danaher



    12:03 on 2 February, 2015





    Sssshhhhhhhhh ….FGS …..hahahahahahaha

  10. 67Heaven .. CHALLENGING THE LIE ..I am wee Oscar / Neil Lennon.. Ipox belongs to the creditors on




    11:53 on 2 February, 2015


    Virgil van Dijk expects Celtic stay



    Posted at 11:48



    Virgil van Dijk believes is not expecting a transfer deadline day exit from Celtic – because the Scottish champions insist he is not for sale.



    Reported suitors Arsenal, Southampton and Sunderland have yet to make a move for the 23-year-old Dutch defender.






    Would be just like signing a new player ……. Hahahahahahaha………seriously, though, THAT would be FANtastic…….. !!!!!!!!

  11. John HartsonVerified account ‏@JohnHartson10



    “@scotsunsport: Kenny Miller insists Rangers’second-half showing isn’t a big gap to Celtic. That’s right kenny only a league and 70 pts!!

  12. Game yday.. watched it last night and was bit annoyed our bhoys took foot off the gas.. really really wanted to hit them for 4/5 goals. They are truly awful.



    Watched it today again and abit less annoyed… we were very good and barely broke sweat.



    Same as everyone thomson did what was expected off him… mccullogh is a dirty animal.



    Celtic should be pushing for action to be taken… elbow to back of head in the street would get u thrown into the slammer.

  13. FourGreenFields on

    jude2005 is neil lennon \o/



    Received a reply from John Fleming telling me the compliance officer had been informed.


    You can only ask :-)

  14. 67Heaven .. CHALLENGING THE LIE ..I am wee Oscar / Neil Lennon.. Ipox belongs to the creditors on

    jude2005 is neil lennon \o/



    12:09 on 2 February, 2015


    Compliance officer notified!! Dont hold ur breath!!




    Sorry, for which one, please…!!??

  15. Was there any trouble in around glasgow ?



    GB and the fans did great as usual yday.. not really a fan of soldiers song getting belted to be honest.

  16. Ian Black you took one hell of a beating. Scott Brown is the Diego Costa of Scottish football.



    Virgil against Kenny Misser is like Alan Sugar’s Rolls Royce versus Del Trotters three wheeler.

  17. I think someone at the SFA must have done overtime on the prayer at over the weekend. How some player(s) didn’t get a serious injury as a result of the abysmal pitch. This is supposed to be a showcase event. The world will have seen a not fit for purpose pitch that would embarass a pub side.



    The game itself, proved conclusively that the Premier Leagues doe NOT need Sevo, they would offer less than Ross County (Who have caused us more problems in recent meetings) despite still living outwith their means. Just how bad will they be when the inevitable happens & big Mike refuses to stump up having got all the profitable parts of the business he wants. What numpty will put up top wages for these clodhoppers…even the fans (maybe not the bigots / morons) will see the gap is huge and only going to get bigger.



    Onwards & Upwards Bhoys…expect a real tester at Dens Park

  18. Brown emprying black in last minute.



    Loved it..also well done to john guidetti. Straight in to back his team mates every time.



    Love to see him stay and to be honest i think it be good for him..couple season in spl will sharpen him.. you can tell hes missed alot of football.



    Moving elsewhere and stuck on bench will do him no good.. if he signs i think he will become our no1 striker.





    You deserve the credit for that,mate. Fantastic spot.



    Genuine apologies for forgetting who posted it.



    But we know now,hat doffed!

  20. Good article, Paul and witty into the bargain.


    You can rest assured that those with selective hearing , and that includes the masonic BBC team at the game, had heard just one “wrong” word from a Celtic fan then it would of course be mentioned and told to the world audience. What a shower.


    We behaved impeccably yesterday, that’s all that matters, right!!!!



    What happened to the Steve Guppy money??


    Sack the board and all that.




  21. GlassTwoThirdsFull on



    Have the SFA messed up /covered up AGAIN?


    Didn’t they close the August 2013 window on Saturday 31st August, saying that Saturday was a working day? All the rest of Europe stayed open until the Monday night, leaving Celtic and other Scottish clubs at a disadvantage.


    This of course was after they had given Sevco a transfer embargo which ended on 31st August.


    So why is the window open today…..?????

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