Robbing Billy to pay Laxey

860

30% interest!  Nice one, Newco Rangers, you’ve got yourself a deal there.  Suggestions that your business plan has been, and remains, unsustainable and extravagant are patently absurd when you can borrow at the kind of rates a Zimbabwean pimp would get at the height of the ZWD’s recent hyper-inflation episode, although it’s probably worth noting that Zimbabwean businesses are currently borrowing at slightly less than half of what Laxey are charging Newco, solvent ones, anyway.

An administration would be a severe embarrassment to the Newco, less than two years after its incorporation, but in many ways it would be a boon, allowing the club to offload all the high earners and establish a breakeven trading platform.

It is utterly incomprehensible why they have not called in the admins, which itself shines a light on management processes inside the club.  No one seems to be asking, “What next?”  Getting deeper into hock with a hedge fund is ruinous.  Notions that if the loan is turned into shares would be a soft landing for the club are absurd.  This is a hedge fund.  A HEDGE FUND!!  The more shares they have, the more exposure they have, the higher return they will demand.

Need some new players, tough, pay my money.  Ticket sales down, that’s disappointing, cut back and pay my money.  Got some maintenance work to do, I don’t care, pay my money then see what’s left.

Keep your eye on the sale and leaseback plan, although not until September.  They should commission a brass statue of a Newco season ticket holder, touching his toes, with the motto ‘Brace yourself’ below.

The only question left is who will be the complicit front man for season ticket sales this year?

Most people are only beginning to realise the consequences of the events of 2012, or what it means to be a zombie club, walking around, not quite the same as before, with various groups randomly gorging on you.  Nothing will ever be as it was.  Ever.  They should’ve listened, before high-fiving Sir David Murray, then Craig Whyte, then Charles Green.  It’s not like we didn’t tell them.

If you’re in the football business, rule number 1 is: Pay your bills.  Every other rule, value and aspiration cannot be met without this rule.

Many thanks to everyone who submitted questions for last week’s Celtic Forum.  The minutes have been published, and are available here.

If you would like to read the new CQN Magazine, GO HERE to read properly, and for FREE, the graphic below is just a taster.
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  1. Sevco have a serious intestinal problem.

     

    It’s like a tapeworm that is depriving the body of essential nutrients.

     

    It’s a greedy parasite, gobbling up all of the clumpany’s resources.

     

    Minute examination of the crap emanating from down PRW reveals that the biggest gobbler of costs is the playing staff and its head is the tapeworm Sallis Coisticus

     

    There’s only one way to get rid of this parasite.

     

    A good colon cleanser to flush out the body of the invaders and allow the patient to recover slowly.

     

    However when the patient sees the parasite as beneficial and doctors are unwilling to cut off the parasites head then the patient’s prognosis is to have a series of unhealthy events, including constipation, muscle weakness, weight loss (downsizing) and seizures (of assets?).

     

    There is also a good chance that the feces will spread infection to other bodies.

  2. steph –

     

     

    It will be an interesting problem for the SFA. Do they let them off with a 15 points deduction and openly admit they are a new club, or accept them as the same club worth a 25 point penalty?

  3. Shut-out king Fraser has got what it takes

     

     

    ENGLAND coach Roy Hodgson has given history-maker Fraser Forster a huge vote of confidence by insisting the Celtic star can go on to become Britain’s clean sheet king.

     

     

    By: Scott BurnsPublished: Tue, February 25, 2014

     

     

     

    0Comments

     

    Forster hopes to be part of the World Cup squad [ROSS TURPIE]

     

     

    Forster broke the Scottish record, set by Aberdeen legend Bobby Clark back in 1970-71, against Hearts at the weekend and is just 97 minutes away from smashing the British high of 1,311 minutes – claimed by former Manchester United stopper Edwin van der Sar back in season 2009-10.

     

     

    Hodgson has admitted Forster’s impressive form has kept the Hoops No 1 in his thoughts when it comes to his squad for this summer’s World Cup finals in Brazil.

     

     

    It’s a great achievement and he deserves it because he’s been playing very well

     

    Roy Hodgson

     

    He said: “It would be another great achievement if he could beat Van der Sar’s record but, knowing Fraser and Neil Lennon like I do, the most important thing for those two will not be individual plaudits but winning matches for Celtic.

     

     

    “So Fraser will have a few challenges to keep the clean sheets going.

     

     

    “He’s good enough to break Edwin’s record and he also has good enough players in front of him to help him do it.”

     

     

    Hodgson, above, also believes it could take even longer for someone to eclipse Forster’s achievements, with Clark’s record having stood for over 40 years.

     

     

    “I’m really pleased for Fraser,” he added. “It’s a great achievement and he deserves it because he’s been playing very well.

     

     

    “Celtic are also doing really well, sweeping everyone aside, and that’s good for Fraser.

     

     

    “I’m pleased for Fraser because it’s a very important record and I think it will take some time before a record like that is beaten again.”

     

     

    But Hodgson knows he’ll face a major decision when he has to name his three goalkeepers for Brazil. First pick Joe Hart and Ben Foster are stick-ons with John Ruddy, Jack Butland and Forster fighting it out for the final slot.

     

     

    He added: “Joe and Ben are playing well, as is Fraser, John and young Jack.

     

     

    “It will be a difficult choice when I have to name my three keepers for the World Cup.

     

     

    “Joe’s in pole position because he’s played in all the games.

     

     

    “Before I change that, somebody will need to really work hard because Joe is a proven No.1 for England.”

  4. macjay1 for Neil Lennon on

    twists n turns

     

    04:21 on

     

    25 February, 2014

     

     

    Great to hear Hodgson`s recognition of F.F. and his complimentary comments about Celtic.

     

    I looked in vain for an acknowledgement of F.F`s achievement on the B.B.C.football main page.

  5. I'm Neil Lennon (tamrabam) on

    I dont think us internet bampots have any doubts whatsoever that sevco will go into administration in the near future. Do sevco have a plan to get out of administration or is it liquidation again. I think that is probably the most relevant question nowadays. Get the big comfy chair oot again and sit down with the standard ice cream dessert to watch the latest blockbuster, available on Betamax video for one pound only.

     

    (in an ideal world this list would run down your screen in star wars style, buts that’s way beyond me)

     

     

     

    The Shennanigans part Two. I told you so

     

     

    A sequel from “warning you brothers” studio

     

     

    Ostrich Productions, Govan.

     

     

    Produced by : David Murray, Charles Green and Craig whyte

     

     

    Directed by: Stewart Raygun, Dickie Dungcatcher and Campbell Overmydeadbody, The SFA, The SPL

     

     

    Assistant Directors: Duffer and Dufferer.

     

     

    Starring: Sally Sleekit, and Watty Smiff.

     

     

    Filmed on location: at the Bigotbox, Paisley bus depot and the zillion dollar Albion car park

     

     

    Script by: Scottish Main stream Media, Succulent Lamb eaters

     

     

    Edited by: Charlotte Fakeover, Phil and internet bampots

     

     

    Sound by: Spewie Keevins, Daryl Kidding, Big Fat DJ and Super scorebores

     

     

    Stunts by: The British Army

     

     

    Costumes and wardrobe by: Mike Ashley

     

     

    Grip: Masonic Clubs everywhere

     

     

    Make up by: Still unpaid face painters

     

     

    Special mention to

     

    Ticketus

     

    Vince Lunnie

     

    Lord Nimmo Smith

     

    Imran Ahmed

     

    Margarita

     

    Blue Pitch Holdings

     

    Laxey Money Grabbers

     

    Malcolm Murray

     

    Bill Miller

     

    Graham Wallace

     

    Brian Stockbridge

     

    Ian Hart

     

    John Daly

     

    David Templeton

     

    Dean Shiels

     

    Dave King

     

    Jim McColl

     

    Rino Gattuso

     

    Daniel Cousins

     

    The Daily Record

     

    Hector

     

    Alex Thomson

     

    EBTs

     

    CVAs

     

    David Longmuir who thought he was getting a job at sevco

     

    The Blue Knights

     

    The other Knights whose name I cant remember

     

    The knights who say nee

     

    The Knights Knights

     

    The good knight viennas

     

    Extras: thousands who mostly leave at half time

  6. I’m Neil Lennon (tamrabam)

     

     

    05:25 on 25 February, 2014

     

    ______________________

     

    How much Jelly & Ice cream will be consumed if the ‘shifty-mob’ go on to

     

    win the ‘treble’ at CP, undoubtedly aided by their usual helping of ‘mibbery’

     

    whilst the hun hordes wreck awe the seats inside the stadium with the usual,

     

    nothing to see here Timmy – outcome ?

     

     

    Don’t get me wrong – everybody wants them gone – period – but, to sound a

     

    note of caution…theres a sleekit way out of this – they’ll find it. If they havent

     

    done so already !

     

     

    Hail Hail

  7. macjay1 for Neil Lennon on

    twists n turns

     

    04:59 on

     

    25 February, 2014

     

    Macjay

     

    Yeah but I also think he’s made it clear big Fra is gonna be up against it for selection. My gut feel is he’s just gonna miss out.

     

    _________________________________________________________

     

     

    My feeling is that he is simply telling the other two reserve goalies not to make assumptions.

  8. Somebody mentioned earlier that Mr Collum is the MIB for the Zenit v Dortmund game. You should have told me earlier. Some of Zenit’s charming hooligans could have given Mr Collum a special welcome. Oh well. Another time.

     

     

    Dortmund supporters have been spotted but they aren’t singing. Quite reserved.

     

     

    Invercelt: It is with great pleasure that I can inform you that no gays were lynched in Sochi. Nobody ate them either. Great news. The BBC’s propaganda was worthless. Actually if you ever have to arrange a huge event, ensure that Stephen Fry and his friends protest about it. The result will be an event which is a resounding success. Remember when Fry, The Guardian and some other bigots tried to spoil Pope Benedict’s visit to Britain? Given the zealous nature of the PC brigade, might they wish to arrest the racist bigots who wrote/said some horrible things about Russian people?

     

     

    I wish you all well for the day. Cmon Amido Balde!

  9. Good morning all from a clear skied, slightly chilly, sort of breezy and slightly dampish East Kilbride.

     

     

    inconclusiveCSC

  10. Good morning Zbysek,

     

     

    Couldn’t access your link but I am guessing that you disagree with my earlier comments.

     

     

    Have a look at a Guardian article which discusses gay rights in Africa. Horrific. Homosexuality is legal here.

     

     

    Off oot.

  11. outside the courtroom just now in Cambuslang waiting for Judge Judy to take her place, I will keep you informed.

  12. John O’Neil

     

     

    No. It was link to the picture which was a joke.

     

    I can understand your comments on gay rights and propaganda.

     

    One think I can’t and will never agree with you is : the immigrants must adopt habits of people of their new country.

     

    When Boruc made a sign of cross in front of Rangers crowd I felt it was not a scandal becouse he made religious sign. I thought it was something like: we are majority, we make the habits and know what you can or can’t do.

     

    Same in Poland. I would not accept people telling the Vietnameses what they should do in their houses or the trams.

     

    The problem with Russia is deeper and long time existed. I like Russians (not all of course) but “Ruskiye vperyod” sometimes, for some means too much.

  13. Morning,

     

     

    Looking forward to an exciting fixture. I think Ahmad will just edge it.

     

     

    A court declaring them insolvent, lol!

  14. Ah Zbyszek,

     

     

    Freedom to have faith, or not to have faith, is crucial. It would perhaps have been better to have written that previously but I just assumed that it was understood. It is a two way process. Both host and immigrant have to try to make efforts. I have sympathy with both.

     

     

    I wish you well. I am outta here. Take care everybody.

  15. The only thing that makes sense is a plan to :

     

     

    1. Gain promotion.

     

    2. Immediately go into Admin.

     

    3. Get out of Admin before new season starts and so avoid punishment for Admin altogether.

     

     

    The rapid turnaround of Admin (the basis for the original plan by CW as I recall) is critical.

     

     

    I don’t think I could control myself if they gain promotion, fail to get out of Admin and so suffer the fate of hertz, struggle in the higher division and get demoted again the next season.

     

     

    Utterly hilarious.

     

     

    But first, they have to get through this season. Hence the band-aid funding facility…

  16. Morning All, I’m looking for some advice from any London Celts. I’ve just moved to london with work and need to find somewhere to watch the game tonight. I’ve so far found the Sheephaven Bay in Camden which says it’s showing the game. I’m in central london near oxford circus. Does anyone have any better suggestions or been anywhere good to watch the bhoys when in London?

  17. minx1888 praying for Wee Oscar on

    Zbyszek Good morning my friend I hope you are well! I will reply to your email sorry it’s taken so long!

  18. Brogan Rogan Trevino and Hogan supports Oscar Knox, MacKenzie Furniss and anyone else who fights Neuroblastoma on

    Hoopybhoy

     

     

    If memory serves me correctly, a good few CQN’ers have watched games in the past in the Marquis of Granby on Shaftesbury Avenue at Cambridge Circus.

     

     

    Blantyre Kev is the one to confirm as he regularly goes to London on business allegedly but never sees any clients and just tours the pubs while spending a day a way from the wife.

     

     

    Personally, I think he signs on down there but then again I am a conspiracy theorist…..

  19. cheers Brogan, my big concern was finding somewhere would show it with the fact there are champions league games on tonight. I think i might try the sheephaven as a starter seen as they are definitely showing it, but may take a walk to that place as well to have a look.

  20. Fred! oh no! cheers though. That sheepshaven place has it listed on their site, so I wonder if they have access to some other channels…… i’ll need to call them and ask.