WE were all too busy guffawing at Graeme Souness’s bonkers remarks that it would be a damn fine idea to take a wrecking ball to Parkhead that we missed another little gem.
The former Ibrox manager’s bizarre notion that Celtic should total the stadium and move elsewhere to groundshare with their city neighbours to enable a place in the England top flight goes beyond comprehension.
Who knew old Souey – as his friends are allowed to term him – had been gifted such a kooky sense of humour? The Hoops support usually recall a snarling, growling adversary on match day who was once infamously dismissed for a wayward lunge on an unsuspecting Billy Stark to mark the occasion of the Celt’s winning goal against Rangers in the east end of Glasgow on August 29 1987.
NO LAUGHING MATTER…Billy Stark is grounded (extreme right) after an assault from Graeme Souness who incensed the Celtic players in a Glasgow derby in August 1987.
Dismissing the past, the one-time Scotland and Liverpool midfielder, now 69, claims to have come up with a solution for both sides to aid their introduction to football’s top table and, writing in his column in the Daily Mail, said: “It has been a dire Champions League campaign for the two Glasgow clubs, who so far have mustered just four goals and two points between them from 10 games.
“It is a disappointment for Scottish football, but people ask me why they are uncompetitive.
“Well, I live in Bournemouth where the club has an 11,000-seater stadium but play in the Premier League on the back of annual TV income upwards of £90million. Celtic and Rangers are huge clubs with massive fanbases and capacities in excess of 50,000, but their TV money is about £2million or £3million a year.
“So, there is your answer. If they agreed to build a 100,000-capacity stadium to share and joined the Premier League they would soon be top-half clubs. I would have them down here in a heartbeat.
“The rest of Scottish football would not collapse. It would simply have to find its own level.”
SEEING RED…the Ibrox player-manager looks mystified after being banished by referee Davie Syme in Celtic’s 1-0 victory at Parkhead on their way to a league and Cup double in the club’s centenary year.
THE JOKE’S ON YOU…how a cartoonist viewed Graeme Souness v Billy Stark.
While everyone indulged in a hysterical belly laugh at Souey’s innovative remedy for the ills of the city rivals, CQN would like to have another glimpse at the presumably considered and calculated opinion from the media pundit.
What’s this “mustered two points between them” malarky?
Ange Postecoglou’s men achieved two points while Giovanni van Bronckhorst’s players registered a big fat zero.
Those words remind us of former Scotland and Arsenal keeper Bob Wilson, another ex-TV expert, when he was doing the rounds on the after-dinner circuit.
The likeable Bob would open with: “Kenny Dalglish and I won 104 international caps between us…”
He didn’t need to go into the details that the Celtic legend shaded him in Scotland appearances with his phenomenal record-breaking 102 caps as opposed to Wilson’s paltry two.
The one-time netminder intended it as a mirth-inducing ice-breaker.
CQN wonders if Souey was having a laugh with his statement.
As his good Anfield and Scotland buddy would have said: “Mebbes aye, mebbes naw.”
* DON’T miss the unbeatable match report and best action images from Livingston v Celtic this afternoon – only in your champion CQN.