Woody Allen and the Pope of Rome

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There’s a moment in Woody Allan’s movie Bananas, after the leader of a military coup takes control, that he loses his faint grasp on rationality and plunges headlong into random nonsense.  He informs the inhabitants of his Latin American country that Swedish will be their new language and that underwear now should be worn as an outer garment.

BBC’s Jim Spence this morning reports that a Dundee United director, flush with the success of reaching the League Cup final, told him United want almost double the ticket allocation for the final than they were able to sell for the semi-final, as “We want to ensure as big a crowd as possible for the game, which we are sure the sponsors would want too”, and that he wants United fans in the Toryglen end of the stadium, or the Celtic end, as it’s known by everyone else in the land.

Sure, ask for more tickets than you were able to sell, but don’t justify your request on the basis that this will ensure a bumper crowd.  If anything, it will achieve the opposite.

Asking for the Celtic end is right up there with wearing your pants on top of your trousers.  It’s a random and irrational exercise of power by someone who is evidently in way over their head.  It’s technically possible to have United at the ‘Toryglen’ end, but it would achieve no benefit and only cause confusion and inconvenience to thousands.  If Woody Allen is short of quality material (which appears to be the case), he should spend some time here.

Scotland is not full of these types, but those there are seem to gravitate towards positions in our national game.  From now on, I’m going to think of United chairman Stephen Thompson with his pants on the outside.  Pantsman Thompson, seems an appropriate handle.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to listen to thousands sing “No Pope of Rome” at a public gathering.  The problem is not as significant as it was a few decades ago, and is largely limited to the embers of a dying sub-culture. The rest of the country has moved on, as have most Rangers fans. I’m not sure how, or if, you can check these excesses, but I’m sure they are overwhelmingly self-harming.

Kenny MacAskill, appointed Justice Minister in the SNP government on the basis of having selective hearing and being able to make absurd claims, left his post in November.  His government have yet to make any comment on yesterday. Nor have they repealed the politically-motivated Offensive Behaviour Act, or show they are remotely interested in asking for the laws they introduced to be enforced without fear or favour. The Act was aimed at you and is simply flawed. It is toxic, remains in place out of nothing more than bloody-mindedness and will be repealed at the first change of government.

Anyway, you’ve got a cup final to look forward to on the weekend of the CQN11 St Patrick’s Dinner at the Kerrydale Suite, on Friday 13 March.  Email me, celticquicknews@gmail.com to book your tickets.

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  1. Sky Sports, Rangers (ahem) are drawing up paperwork for 4 or 5 loan players from Newcastle.

  2. Armstrong worth more than that if Derk is worth a punt at 2mill. Give utd for both Armstrong and GMS and we are a stick on for the Final

     

     

    KLV

  3. I am surprised there aren’t more departures to be honest. We have a huge squad. and while we are talking about Armstrong, who do we drop to play him?

     

     

    Take more than 5 loans to make that into a team. Don’t worry.

     

     

    KLV

  4. Joe Filippis Haircut on

    Utd. are playing hard ball they are probably aware that we dont have an other option and want a minimum of 2 million. H.H.

  5. Ellboy - I am Neil Lennon, YNWA. on

    If The SFA give clearance for 4 or 5 loans from Newcastle then calling up Ashley to explain his involvement in Sevco is a joke.

  6. ExSlaemuirBhoy on

    can you take 4 players on loan from 1 club ? their team sheet will make good reading come the weekend, Simo Wallace trialist elbows trialist trialist law trialist miller boydicenko daly.

  7. South Of Tunis on

    Tonight’s Inter rumours –

     

     

    Rolando.

     

    Benalouane.

     

    Ledesma

     

    Cassano.

     

    Diarra

     

    Radio man says Inter linked with 16 players this window and have signed 4 of them.

     

     

    My fave winter signing story is Sampdoria signing Eto’O.Manager of Sampdoria , Mihajlovic knew nothing until the owner

     

    told him..Sampdoria lost 5 – 1 v Torino yesterday . Cue Mihajlovic ordering a double training session today and cue Eto’ 0 stating that he wasn’t fit enough to do 2 training sessions.

  8. clogher celt

     

    Hope Minty’s jet isn’t icebound.

     

    How far they have fallen, and they have yet to hit the ground. Wonder how much the £8 League Cup Semi Final t-shirts were going for this morning

  9. South Of Tunis on

    For what it’s worth Page 24 of today’ s

     

    Fitba Pink says –

     

     

    ” Celtic are close to to Bakkali, once an Inter target “

  10. mclaughlin

     

     

    17:29 on 2 February, 2015

     

     

    Only in the big league mate, the WEE teams can get as many loans as they need ( I think ) hehe

  11. west of ireland csc on

    was there any trouble before or after the game yesterday?????????

     

    i havent heard of any

     

    maybe for once rangers fans didnt disgrace themselves apart from their singing of vile songs

  12. haircut

     

     

    17:31 on 2 February, 2015

     

     

    We should tell them to beat it, Henderson is a better player than Armstrong IMO HH

  13. sipsini

     

     

    sorry for the no show yesterday…never got out of hospital until after 1 just headed straight for the brazen

  14. San Diego

     

     

    Nice wan..pally…

     

     

    Charlie,is a Darlin’ Bhoy… so long as he

     

     

    Sticks tae being a C.B.. he isnae a Middy…

     

     

    But..as a C.B.?

     

     

    Charlie ,is Mighty Fine.

     

     

    We don’t need no replacement fur Virgil, when he leaves.. nor.. Jason, eether ..when he shuffles aff..tae Oblivion..

     

     

    Ownie O’Connell..is a fine replacement fur Jason..n.. Charle n He wull be

     

     

    a Super Combo..while Ownie… Improves in Leaps n Bounds under the Tutelage

     

    o the auld Heid.. Charlie..

     

     

     

    Noo Ye Know

     

     

    Nice chatting ,pally..as alwiz.

     

     

    Kojo

     

    Still,Laughin

  15. bgx

     

     

    16:47 on 2 February, 2015

     

     

    What a step backward in the young boys Career, port vale to sevco :-) HH

  16. Hendo, WULL be ..

     

     

    A MuchBettah Player , than… Armstrong is..

     

     

    But.. NO ..at ..

     

     

    THIS TIME..

     

     

    This is. in..

     

     

    Kojo’s Opinion,of course.

     

     

     

    Kojo

     

    Still , Laughin

  17. Bobby Murdochs Ankle supportin Oscar Knox on

    IT help needed,

     

    Work system keeps sending me to a holding page when I try to login to CQN, any idea how I can sort this…………

     

     

    Bma

  18. Captain Beefheart on

    Canamalar.

     

     

    Finally we agree about something. The disaster in Ukraine is thanks to the US and the corrupt EU. They are playing with fire.

     

     

    A democratically elected government was overthrown by a mob which contained fascists and racists.

  19. Bobby Murdochs Ankle supportin Oscar Knox

     

     

    change jobs ?

     

     

     

    i couldnt work for a company where i didnt have open access to CQN.

  20. Jungle Jim Hot Smoked on

    If Scott Brown had been red carded yesterday, would he have missed the final?

     

     

    Asked earlier. Who do we drop to accommodate new signings? Unless we were to spend about £6 million on a player, whoever we brought in would not be any better than we already have.Also, why would we need a £6 million player? We don`t need him for Scotland and he wouldn`t make enough difference in Europe. I am happy with the squad we have and will worry about Denayer and van Djik when the time comes.

     

     

    JJ

  21. philvisreturns on

    bobby murdochs ankle supportin oscar knox – IT help needed,

     

     

    Try logging on to http://www.celticquicknews.com

     

     

    Or if you’re using IE, tools -> internet options -> connections -> LAN settings -> uncheck “use automatic configuration script” (if you’re being sent through a proxy)

     

     

    (thumbsup)

  22. The Wey Celtic ur Thinkin’…

     

     

    We needa Replacement fur the Noo Departed..but.. Eminently….Unlamented..

     

     

    Mr.Kayal..

     

     

    This is How .. Celtic ur Thinkin’, at this time.

     

     

    They hiv ither plans..in the woiks, fur Izzy’s Back Up.. they ur woiking oan them.

     

     

    Noo , Ye Know..

     

     

    Kojo

     

     

    Still,Laughin’

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