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Woody Allen and the Pope of Rome

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By on CQN BLOG & Comments

There’s a moment in Woody Allan’s movie Bananas, after the leader of a military coup takes control, that he loses his faint grasp on rationality and plunges headlong into random nonsense.  He informs the inhabitants of his Latin American country that Swedish will be their new language and that underwear now should be worn as an outer garment.

BBC’s Jim Spence this morning reports that a Dundee United director, flush with the success of reaching the League Cup final, told him United want almost double the ticket allocation for the final than they were able to sell for the semi-final, as “We want to ensure as big a crowd as possible for the game, which we are sure the sponsors would want too”, and that he wants United fans in the Toryglen end of the stadium, or the Celtic end, as it’s known by everyone else in the land.

Sure, ask for more tickets than you were able to sell, but don’t justify your request on the basis that this will ensure a bumper crowd.  If anything, it will achieve the opposite.

Asking for the Celtic end is right up there with wearing your pants on top of your trousers.  It’s a random and irrational exercise of power by someone who is evidently in way over their head.  It’s technically possible to have United at the ‘Toryglen’ end, but it would achieve no benefit and only cause confusion and inconvenience to thousands.  If Woody Allen is short of quality material (which appears to be the case), he should spend some time here.

Scotland is not full of these types, but those there are seem to gravitate towards positions in our national game.  From now on, I’m going to think of United chairman Stephen Thompson with his pants on the outside.  Pantsman Thompson, seems an appropriate handle.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to listen to thousands sing “No Pope of Rome” at a public gathering.  The problem is not as significant as it was a few decades ago, and is largely limited to the embers of a dying sub-culture. The rest of the country has moved on, as have most Rangers fans. I’m not sure how, or if, you can check these excesses, but I’m sure they are overwhelmingly self-harming.

Kenny MacAskill, appointed Justice Minister in the SNP government on the basis of having selective hearing and being able to make absurd claims, left his post in November.  His government have yet to make any comment on yesterday. Nor have they repealed the politically-motivated Offensive Behaviour Act, or show they are remotely interested in asking for the laws they introduced to be enforced without fear or favour. The Act was aimed at you and is simply flawed. It is toxic, remains in place out of nothing more than bloody-mindedness and will be repealed at the first change of government.

Anyway, you’ve got a cup final to look forward to on the weekend of the CQN11 St Patrick’s Dinner at the Kerrydale Suite, on Friday 13 March.  Email me, celticquicknews@gmail.com to book your tickets.

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  3. fan-a-tic on

    Has Blacks mammie chapped Broonies mammies door yet to complain about her son’s

     

    bullying?

     

    It was there for all to see the painter/better and faux tough guy is just a whingeing bitch!

  5. Alfie Noakes on

    philvisreturns

     

    14:01 on

     

    2 February, 2015

     

    the honest cover-up – have to take your word for it on the Commonwealth Games.

     

     

    I avoided every second of the London Olympics, so I wasn’t going to watch the cheapo knockoff Commonwealth gemmes. There was a better programme on Dave, called “Britain’s Slowest Paint Drying”. (thumbsup)

     

     

    sipsini – Nigel Farage is the Scott Brown of politics. Brave and bloody marvellous.

     

     

    I said so to the members of my Thatcherite CSC the other day, and he agreed.

     

     

    We’re only making plans for Nigel. (thumbsup)

     

    ============================================================

     

     

    If you are indeed a Celtic supporter and also a Farge supporter – God help us – but more – God help you!

     

     

    I forgive you as, it’s obvious, you don’t know what you do (and say)

  7. lynott67 on

    I don’t see how this law can ever be enforced, when the same dregs are encouraged and allowed to march down every high street in Scotland singing these same songs during the marching season.

     

    It used really get my back up, now i think whats the point getting annoyed.

     

    As usual, it was only a tiny minority that sang these songs yesterday. They just happened to have very loud voices.

  9. Raymac on

    Kenny Millar was next to Elbows yesterday for thuggery. He whacked VVD with a straight arm. He tried to constantly foul Celtic players–except he couldn’t get near them because they were so much fitter and faster. Complained all day to Thompson. Gone are the Watty and Fatso days when such girning got you something. Best of all? Broonie cementing Black, who then complained that he should have had a red card for it. Ay right!!

  10. philvisreturns on

    fan-a-tic – I believe it was Wesley Snipes who said: “Always bet on Brown!” (thumbsup)

     

     

    bournesouprecipe – thank you, she always puts a spring in my… step. (thumbsup)

  11. Raymac on

    Alfie–have you joined the new Jabba PR gang? I don’t often say this, but you are an idiot and an obvious plant. Feck off.

  12. lynott67 on

    I noticed the commentator kept referring to it as the Toryglen end of Hampden, never remember it being called that before.

  13. Alfie Noakes on

    BOBBY MURDOCH’S CURLED-UP WINKLEPICKERS

     

    13:56 on

     

    2 February, 2015

     

    MOONBEAMSWETDREAMS 1343

     

     

    It’s difficult to argue with you,and show Labour in a positive light.

     

     

    They have been a massive disappointment since the sad death of John Smith,allowing carpetbaggers to take over. None of whom I voted for-or against-btw.

     

     

    Mandelsin and Blair ruined our party.

     

     

    But you know what? They’re still our only bet. Not our best bet,our only bet.

     

     

    Read this,you will see why. May 2015 is not a time for a protest vote,mate. May 2015 is one last chance to stop these bastards ruining our country.

     

     

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/jan/28/-sp-david-camerons-five-year-legacy-has-he-finished-what-margaret-thatcher-started

     

    ——————————————————————————————————————

     

     

    They are still the ONLY party EVER to do ANYTHING for the working class – and even after John Smith, there were Tax Credits, Minimum Wage etc….

     

     

    What other party has EVER helped the working class?

     

     

    The truth is this – you vote against Labour, you ALWAYS. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, get a right-wing regime – history does NOT lie.

     

     

    So in Scotland in May – Vote SNP get the Tories – and they(SNP) never stop squealing about getting the government we vote for – the SNP want a Tory government – it fits in with their grievance and play the victim agenda – PATHETIC!!!!!

  15. LiviBhoy on

    Por Cierto

     

     

    Not at all. I just live near Murrayfield and know when the games are.

     

     

    LB

  18. Alfie Noakes on

    philvisreturns

     

    14:32 on

     

    2 February, 2015

     

    Alfie Noakes – I say to the vast majority of Celtic fans, like me, let’s act now and destroy this Celtic Militant Tendency within our support

     

     

    http://media20.giphy.com/media/dC9DTdqPmRnlS/giphy.gif?w=320 (thumbsup)

     

    ——————————————————————————————————————-

     

     

    Typical – no coherent answers and/or arguments – so resort to some puerile rubbish copied from the internet!!!

  19. Por Cierto on

    Alfie Noakes

     

    “So in Scotland in May – Vote SNP get the Tories” This is an opinion.

     

     

    In Scotland at the last General Election we voted Labour and got the Tories.

     

    That is a factual statement of the Last General Election por cierto

  21. BGX on

    Find it pretty sad when labour supporters post the old ‘vote SNP get the tories ‘line…you know i have never voted SNP though this time i may,and if we get a tory goverment ill think ,so be it,its what the UK wants….i wont moan about it…i will have voted the way i want ….oh ,i voted YES….

  25. bournesouprecipe on

    “Hello is that Curry’s? I’d like to place an order for two supplementary, auxiliary speakers, to go with my Midi Hi-Fi system, apropos achieving surround sound. ‘Apropos’…it’s Latin. You ought to have a basic grasp of Latin if you’re working in Curry’s.”

     

     

    Alan Partridge

  26. leftclicktic on

    · 37 mins37 minutes ago

     

     

    Statement just in from Hampden Park Ltd:

     

    “Regrettable Hampden surface didn’t meet expectations.Due to excessive rainfall & freezing temps.that hindered development of pitch. Also the timescale of restoration work after Comm Games. Will work on programme next 6 wks…”

  27. leftclicktic on

    Statement just in from Hampden Park Ltd

     

    cont.

     

     

    to present pitch in best possible condition for League Cup final & international matches in March.”

  29. Árd Macha on

    leftclicktic,

     

     

    They should’ve added:

     

     

    “…and we would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling e-mailers”

     

     

    Árd Macha

  30. LiviBhoy on

    Geordie Munro

     

     

    I think with the weather around this time of year and the fact rugby is being played on the pitch it doesn;t really add up to making sense.

     

    Rugby would also take priority which would mean that the LCF could be moved if need be. Scotland will probably be at home that weekend next year. Usually the fixtures alternate home and away and also the weekends they fall on for home matches.

     

    The alternative is to move the LCF to a different date or possibly month or even make it two legs how and away??? Possibility there. The LC does need revamped in some shape or form. Not convinced a two legged final would make sense but you never know with the SFA/SPFL. Anything can happen!

     

     

    LB

  33. Geordie Munro on

    Livibhoy,

     

     

    I can’t see it being moved there regardless.

     

     

    Hampden should be OK by then. If not there’s a perfectly good neutral stadium in Govan.

     

     

    (Lights blue touch paper and retires)

  37. LiviBhoy on

    CultsBhoy

     

     

    Duffy from Derry rumoured.

     

     

    Nothing concrete yet. Looks like Bannan could be a goer.

     

     

    With the transfer window in England closing at 11pm and ours an hour later I would imagine we will make our final bids for GMS and Armstrong after 11pm once the English window closes. £2m would probably seal both I reckon.

     

     

     

    LB

     

     

    LB

  38. LiviBhoy on

    Geordie Munro

     

     

    Agreed. I was talking future years to be honest.

     

    On another note Murrayfield could not cope with a Celtic v Sevco game. Public transport, coach parking and general segregation in and outside the ground would be a nightmare.

     

    Rugby fans and football fans are a different breed.

     

     

    LB

  42. LiviBhoy on

    Wolfsburg look like paying £50m for a Chelski bench warmer.

     

    Not a fan of Mourinho but he does get good cash for his unwanted players.

     

     

    LB

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