How Celtic can reach Champions League quarter finals

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Two clubs from outside the top five wealthy leagues reached the quarter finals last season but Benfica were drawn against another team from outside the big five, Zenit St Petersburg.  Apoel Nicosia eliminated Lyon in the last 16 on penalties (we should be practicing penalties every week between now and then).

Two teams, Basel (who earlier eliminated Manchester United) and Bayer Leverkusen (who eliminated Valencia), lost seven goals in one game in the first knockout round last season. This tournament retains an ability to be harsh and unforgiving at every moment.  Leverkusen actually conceded 10 to Barcelona over two games.

Apoel Nicosia conceded eight to Real Madrid in the quarters.  The Cypriot team held things together for as long as they could but failed to reach group stage of the Europa League this season, going out at the hands of Neftchi Baku (Azerbaijan).

Our seven potential opponents, all from the top five leagues, will each present an enormously difficult challenge but some are easier than others.  Our biggest advantage is our own position.  Those seven clubs will each underestimate Celtic, we have by far the lowest coefficient of all teams left in the tournament.

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We are enormously outgunned and inexperienced at this level but we know a few things:

We can defend under incredible pressure.

We can score, home and away, against anyone.

We cannot retain possession.  This is not a good thing, but it is an acknowledged weakness, so we know not to plan to retain possession.  If in doubt, laces through the ball and get into position.

Our opponents will know we have the tallest team in the competition.  Height is an advantage until your opponent learns how you use it.  During the first half on Wednesday Celtic tried to repeat the corner kick success we enjoyed against Barcelona and Benfica but Spartak had read the script.  We will be unlikely to score the same goal again in Europe.  A fresh plan is needed.

The Spartak goal is a real lesson.  This is not a goal we would have conceded against a far superior Barcelona.  We had a 1-0 lead and our entire left flank was exposed, compromising a winning position.  We can leave our left flank exposed at Kilmarnock tomorrow but this kind of laissez-faire defending came within 8 minutes of eliminating us on Wednesday and will do so in the next round if repeated.

Penalty kicks determined the outcome of 50% of Champions League knockout ties last season (20% after games, 30% during games).  No amount of practice is too much.

Planning for the quarter finals starts now.

The next issue of CQN Magazine will be out next week. If you would like to advertise get in touch, advert@cqnmagazine.co.uk.

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  1. Love this part of prospectus;

     

     

    “Use of proceeds and effects of the proceeds

     

    The Company plans to use the money raised from the Placing to improve the infrastructure of the Club. In particular, the Directors have identified:

     

    • upgrades to Ibrox Stadium (approximately £5.5 million);

     

    • acquisition and development of land assets adjacent to the stadium (approximately £4.5 million);

     

    • other identified projects which could result in additional revenue generating activities (approximately £3.0 million); and

     

    • general working capital purposes.

     

    In addition, should the Company receive funds from the Offer, the Directors have identified other potential investments that would go beyond the scope of the Group’s strategy in the next 12 months, but which could further enhance revenue opportunities.

     

    In particular, the Directors have identified:

     

    • further upgrades to Ibrox Stadium (approximately £3.5 million); and

     

    • other identified projects which could result in additional review generating activities (approximately £2.0 million).

     

    Additionally, cash could also be used to provide the Directors with additional flexibility to opportunistically consider appropriate investment opportunities as and when they arise.”

     

     

    Desperation & obsfuscation combined, and and and and and – absolutely hilarious. Any zombie daft enough to invest deserves what they get.

     

     

    From reading their desperation it is reasonable to assume they have very little/no cash to operate.

  2. A Ceiler Gonof Rust on

    bjmac, is that a direct read from their latest wheeze?

     

     

    There seems to be a number of “other identified projects” in there that are going to generate many millions of pounds for the hun.

     

     

    This will have the world of corporate finance queuing the length of copeland road with suitcases full of unmarked bills in their desperation to buy into this cash generating operation.

     

     

     

    Is chuckie married to a bearded lady or a trapeze artist? He should grow a mouser and get some twirls into it.

     

     

     

    Funny guy lets hope he stays as long as their fat useless pratt of a manager. They work well together.

  3. I feel the pull of the hover-pitch, the uplifting swoosh of the anti-grav elevator, the glow from the nuclear-driven pie dispenser, as the Green fields of iPox get set to blast off into a universe of orange and blue coruscating wonder, with a zombie choir ushering in this great and boundless never-ending panoply of footballing incredulity.

     

    sgd.

     

    Snake Oil Charlie (a.k.a. Geez Yer Munny)

  4. Samaras to Liverpool according to The Sun (so it must be true).

     

     

    Why swap last 16 UCL for mid table EPL mediocrity?

  5. A Ceiler Gonof Rust on

    Anyway, enough of this hun, EU, hun prospectus, champions league crap.

     

     

    Anyone want to buy a boat?

     

     

     

    Summa, you need not apply.

     

     

    Petec, you could become a fannie magnet in an instant. No, really. Honest.

     

     

    CQNchristmaspressie.com

  6. petec, I thought it was you that had posted the dates of the 67/13 finals on here! Glad to enlighten you (God knows I keep trying…). Nice that you’ve followed on the numerology aspects of it, although there’s no call – ever – to post a link to Simply Red. Warnings required. 46 is a great number. Twice 23 of course. Would love to know Aiden’s reasons, (if there indeed were any), for picking 46 (if indeed he picked it).

     

     

    For a bit of deeper thought, have a whack at this.

     

     

    http://youtu.be/Tja6_h4lT6A (Simply Red it ain’t!)

  7. A Ceiler Gonof Rust on

    The kilwinning assassins appeal is due to be heard soon, will that be fat boy traynors first gig as head of hun propaganda?

     

     

    They’ve been in jail for about a year for attempting to murder our manager, a lawyer and an old lady, and now we’re considering letting them out?

     

     

    Jabba’s take on this should be worth a read.

  8. Petec :- Thanks again for the music earlier. myself and Edwina Ursa thoroughly enjoyed it, it’s not the type of music I’ve listened to before but I will in future.

     

    P.S I hope you dont mind being compared to a CQN legend but the last man I said that to was our sadly missed friend Pablophanque

  9. A Ceiler Gonof Rust on

    MurdochauldandHay, that was a bit of a let down. They already have my pledge of three hundred thousand pounds. FFS, I thought this was the document that was going to tell me how rich I was about to become with my pledge

     

     

    Incidentally, I still owe someone in their old / new / zombie organisation 1.3 million for the save rangers fund.

     

     

    I’m gonnay be skint efter this lot pans oot. Awe Naw,……………………………:-((

  10. General working capital purposes…..we’re skint and need your money to keep the doors open

     

     

    Due in large part to the managers complete inability to amount any form of run in any form of cup competition ……and he’s spent money we gave him in the summer on feckin overpaid diiddies

  11. Pfayr

     

     

    ….but look on the bright side…he’s our highest ever goals order and can’t waste any more money fr another year…

     

     

    Geez yer cash…

     

     

    hh

     

     

    bjmac

  12. EdwardUrsus

     

     

    we’ve not had many interactions on this site but after this week’s shenanigans, I just want to remind you that as far as I’m concerned you’re always welcome.

     

     

    I understand that other posters don’t welcome you, and that;s cool as long as they’re respectful about it – or they should just “scroll on by”, much as lots us do with the posters we can’t be arsed with. You;ve always conducted yourself with, dare I say, “dignity”; fair play.

     

     

    There’s painful division enough in the world, why some strive to create more on a wonderful website is beyond me.

     

     

    Hope you’ve a crap afternoon tomorrow.

  13. Number of season tickets sold. 35,411

     

    Season ticket sales (£’000) 7,776

     

    Average season ticket price (£). 219

     

    Average attendance (home) 37,909

     

     

    Over 20% of their ST sales revenue will be spent on the board and FPLG wages, if they wi the SFL it will be 30%!!!

     

     

    Where do I sign up?

  14. A Ceiler Gonof Rust on

    Ach well, if they get some money in maybe they can pay off some of the small debts they ran away from like the charities they ripped off. Or, maybe even the bond holders in their rancid victorian toilet complex.

     

     

    Maybe tha’ll get enoof t’dum dums partin with t’cash to get a proper manager for t’assault on t’division II.

     

     

    wunt it grrrrrrand.

     

     

     

    Watching them falter and die is fantastic.

  15. BjMac :- I was asked that earlier and the answer is the same, no, I still put money into football but it’s at an amateur and youth level. However it does give me a chance to say again that if anyone ever fancies helping out their local amateur team it would only cost you roughly £80 to sponsor a game.

  16. Neil canamalar Lennon hunskelper extrordinaire on

    Wonder if they are including free tickets issuued to bolster the average attendances

  17. That prospectus is extraordinary.

     

    Read the section re. ‘risk factors’. Wow.

     

    Also, they still have no sight of ra deeds. Really.

     

    Plus, the overblown valuation would indicate that Chunkles & The Duffers pulled off quite a scam.

     

    I would expect BDO to be tearing them all a big new one….each. If not, why not?

     

    More forensically minded people than me will dismantle this fiction in the next few days, but even a peasant like me can see an awfy big pig in a tattered poke with just a cursory skim through the Chunkles’ scam artifact laughingly called a prospectus.

     

    “Prospectus? He effin’ ripped us aff “, will be the zombie howl for years to come.

     

    Laugh? I cried with mirth.

  18. Neil canamalar Lennon hunskelper extrordinaire on

    they have claimes £13M after tax profit, have they provided a breakdown.

  19. Tarrant :- Thanks for your well wishes, What you might not expect is I can double your wishes about me having a crap afternoon, my own teams game is off so I’ll be at Rugby Park as an Ayrshire man supporting his local team neutral :-)

  20. Canamalar

     

     

    That is only for the 3 months during season ticket collection and the investment pre IPO.

     

     

    Ie all the income with a quarter of the outgoings.

     

     

    hh

     

     

    bjmac

  21. This is a very comforting and funny line;

     

     

    “the Club will also seek actively to enhance the playing staff in order to maximise the Club’s chances of a return to the Scottish Premier League for the 2015/16 season. Under the current league structure, 2015/16 would be the earliest that the Club could return to the Scottish Premier League”

     

     

    Also amazed they’ve left the lingering doubt around the missives not shown to the values, however the rest of the doc all points to the ownership of those assets.

     

     

    Will be interesting to see what some of the real expert bampots make of it.

     

     

    hh

     

     

    bjmac

  22. Ed, I already knew you were going to see the Celtic!

     

     

    (And I refrained from commenting on your subliminal desires; petec’s already sussed you out on that front; your return to the site this week, triggered by charitable works (Oskar) and glory on the park, reflects the foundation of our great, inclusive, non-discriminatory movement, to which all are welcome. Join us Ed. You already have.)

  23. Also looks like Green couldn’t raise the £20M he first mentioned, then quickly changed to £10M and it looks like it ended up £7.7M