Bedwetters, antacids and transfer articles of faith

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I love this time of year.  As we publish, 60 hours of the transfer window remain.  Celtic have gaps to fill in the squad, we have targets for each position, each target has his own target destination clubs, and the potential selling clubs all want to hold out for as long as possible to get top price – and some do not want to sell at all.

There are options for several positions we could have concluded on Monday.  These were not top of anyone’s list, of course, and not cheap either.  Hospital facilities are reserved in cities across Europe, most awaiting medicals that will not happen, but may be required before Friday evening.

How long should we wait for top targets?  You certainly wait this late in the window.  Bedwetters signing players early in the window to relieve anxiety symptoms is a sight to behold.  If you have that knot in your stomach right now, just go pop an antacid and let those with a seasoned constitution cope with stressful negotiating situations.

Every transfer window follows the same rules.  Players want the most money possible and the best stage to enhance their subsequent contract.  Clubs do not want to sell valuable players with a lengthy period left on their contracts.  When a sale looks inevitable, they employ agents to entice more bidders into the market.

If more than one bidder is involved, stalemate can run until deadline day.  People who ask, “Why are we not signing players earlier?” occupy that special peak at the top of the Dunning-Kruger chart.  None of this is news, we all know and accept this as an absolute article of faith.

So why all the angst?  This is the game, let the enormity of what Celtic are attempting to achieve over the next two days sit with you for a few moments and you might begin to enjoy the unfolding drama.  It sure beats wearing adult nappies (I’m led to believe).

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  1. The Star Above The Crest on

    Sionnaigh

     

     

    Ange got his business done early enough. Other clubs get stuff done early enough. We’re back to the days of Paul’s Master callig the shots

  2. Support them while they are here , just dont get too attached, and certainly dont put a name on a shirt.

     

     

    Players and Agents, and often now the clubs want high turnover, it keeps the cash moving,

     

     

    The football mercenary era is upon us, and now with Saudi involvement it will take over and there will be no going back.

     

     

    Celtic unless we have these type of owners will be left behind.

     

     

    The Morton of the champions league.

     

     

    Jon Stark anyone ?

     

     

    —————————

     

     

    JON STARK

     

    Roger Kettle wrote this football strip which debuted in Issue 1 of Scoop comic in January 1978. It was about a mercenary footballer who would play for any team for hard cash. Jon Stark arrived on the football scene in the late 1970s, a prolific striker who played for different clubs every week in England, and abroad, on a nomadic career path motivated entirely by money.

     

     

    A self-styled ‘Matchwinner for Hire’, his terms of service were set out on his business card: ‘£1k per match plus £250 per goal, no payment for lost games.’

     

     

    That first story in Issue 1 saw second division’s Stone Orient rock bottom in the table after three consecutive defeats. A cup match against top-flight Belmoor saw the club turn to Stark, who told them, ‘Play me against Belmoor and I’ll guarantee you victory for £1k plus £250 for every goal I score. If we get beaten, you pay me nothing.’

     

     

    Stark’s left foot strike and diving header saw Orient win 2-0. But the Orient manager wasn’t happy with Stark’s modus operandi, remarking, ‘he’s good alright, but I don’t like him or what he stands for.’ Stark wasn’t bothered: ‘Just give me my 1,500 and I’ll be on my way.’

     

     

    The strip introduced a whole cast of football mercenaries, including Stark’s great friend Cosmo Kent (occasionally starring together as ‘Stark & Cosmo’), nephew and apprentice Barry Frazer, and goalscoring rival Caspar Rambold.

     

     

    jon stark

     

     

    Scoop was a football-centered weekly comic published by D.C Thomson from 1978 to 1981, when it merged into The Victor.

     

     

    https://www.archive.cameldung.co.uk/Content/Articles/149/starksml.jpg

  3. My friends in Celtic,

     

     

    Over 78% of our current squad are ” foreign “. Many young players from leagues not rated much better than the Scottish league.

     

    Many of these players have come from teams that can be regarded as ” smaller” and less prestigious than Celtic FC.

     

     

    This raises the obvious question :- If we have world class training and development facilities then why are we not using these facilities to produce more players like James Forrest, Kieran Tierney etc.?

     

     

    Our current business model suggests that our Academy is not producing players of the calibre we require.

     

     

    Why not ? There are questions to be asked. And answered.

     

     

    HH.

     

     

    PS : I’m aware of players out on loan. I also question this policy for obtaining what we need.

  4. SAINT STIVS on 30TH AUGUST 2023 1:25 PM

     

     

    European ambition means trying to bridge the huge growing financial gap between us and cl teams from the big tv leagues.

     

     

    Traditional business models won’t do it, not over any sort of time period

     

     

    Ambition involves taking the risks and upsetting the conservative-minded but its the only game in town

     

     

    Smart, quick and agressive doesn’t just apply to the team on the park

  5. Guys,

     

     

    We know there is a financial gap in the Champions league.

     

     

    For most part, is it a bigger financial gap that between ourselves and Kilmarnock or St Johnstone?

     

     

    I don’t think so.

     

     

    Wealth is not everything. especially in one off games. The last two results reflect that point.

     

     

    HH.

  6. Greenpinata

     

    2 of our academy went to Bayern Munich and Doak to Liverpool, I’m sure there’s others

  7. The arrogance drips off this article.

     

    So in other words don’t be concerned that we’re already out a cup, or that the team needs a injection of talent and new blood.

     

     

    This boils down to two things: do clubs want to sell at the price we want to pay and are the players we’re targeting interested in coming here.

     

     

    The author told us in the past that players were lined up if we qualified for the Champions League and, when we failed to qualify, those deals fell through. That isn’t an issue now.

     

    Players may still want to hang off until the last minute however who is to say our second, third, or even fourth choice will still be available at that point.

     

     

    It is just as likely that our Board are waiting to see a result from Holland tonight before deciding whether we need to invest.

     

     

    Our club is simply operating with the handbrake on and has been for years.

  8. So Ange was bedwetting in his first transfer window when he bemoaned how long it took us to get players in ? I would have loved to have seen someone tell him that at the time.

  9. GENE on 30TH AUGUST 2023 1:42 PM

     

    Greenpinata

     

     

    2 of our academy went to Bayern Munich and Doak to Liverpool, I’m sure there’s others.

     

     

     

    Thank you for your reply. This is an area of unaddressed concern for me.

     

     

    I presume you are talking about Liam Morrison and a n other a good few years ago. They moved to Bayern Munich’s Academy

     

     

    How much game time did any of the 3 players get for Celtic ( Not the B team ) ?

     

    What value has Celtic had from our training and development?

     

     

    If you are good enough you are old enough.

     

     

    HH.

  10. St Stivs

     

     

    Jon Stark anyone ?

     

     

     

    —————————

     

     

     

    JON STARK

     

     

    Roger Kettle wrote this football strip which debuted in Issue 1 of Scoop comic in January 1978. It was about a mercenary footballer who would play for any team for hard cash. Jon Stark arrived on the football scene in the late 1970s, a prolific striker who played for different clubs every week in England, and abroad, on a nomadic career path motivated entirely by money.

     

     

     

    A self-styled ‘Matchwinner for Hire’, his terms of service were set out on his business card: ‘£1k per match plus £250 per goal, no payment for lost games.’

     

     

     

    That first story in Issue 1 saw second division’s Stone Orient rock bottom in the table after three consecutive defeats. A cup match against top-flight Belmoor saw the club turn to Stark, who told them, ‘Play me against Belmoor and I’ll guarantee you victory for £1k plus £250 for every goal I score. If we get beaten, you pay me nothing.’

     

     

     

    Stark’s left foot strike and diving header saw Orient win 2-0. But the Orient manager wasn’t happy with Stark’s modus operandi, remarking, ‘he’s good alright, but I don’t like him or what he stands for.’ Stark wasn’t bothered: ‘Just give me my 1,500 and I’ll be on my way.’

     

     

     

    The strip introduced a whole cast of football mercenaries, including Stark’s great friend Cosmo Kent (occasionally starring together as ‘Stark & Cosmo’), nephew and apprentice Barry Frazer, and goalscoring rival Caspar Rambold.

     

     

     

    jon stark

     

     

     

    Scoop was a football-centered weekly comic published by D.C Thomson from 1978 to 1981, when it merged into The Victor.

     

     

     

    https://www.archive.cameldung.co.uk/Content/Articles/149/starksml.jpg

     

     

    Thanks for provoking that trip down memory lane.

     

     

    I remember as a 9 year old boy, getting in my bike, cycling down to Fletchers newsagent early on a Saturday morning. I had to get the morning rolls from Bradfords ( like Fletchers, also sadly now gone). I’d then pick up Scoop ( with its broadsheet format), Victor ( with its Victoria Cross story on the front and back cover, and maybe a Commando picture book. Home as quickly as possible with the rolls in a carrier bag being partly shredded in the spokes as I raced home up the hill to my house to see what Stark had done that week. Loved and hated Jon Stark in equal measure. It was just after King Kenny had left Celtic and in some ways I almost linked the 2 in my head. I can’t remember all of the other stories. My brother was more of a Roy of the Rovers fan and Stark was almost an anti-hero in comparison if I recall correctly.

     

     

    Eventually when Scoop died, I was on to Shoot by that stage.

     

    I lived for football in those days. Wally, 3 and in, 7 byes, etc. The era of the Mitre Mouldmaster and parkies chasing you off the park.

  11. Greenpinata

     

    I was only confirming that we have produced some talent from the academy – the push for success means we rarely if at all play them in the first xi – of course money then comes into it.

     

    We hardly play all our projects

  12. 🇭🇳 Luis Palma – LW

     

    +

     

    🇵🇹 Paolo Bernardo – CM

     

    +

     

    🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Nat Phillips – CH

     

    +

     

    ?????? – LB

     

    +

     

    ????? – GK

     

     

    HH

  13. BIG WAVY on 30TH AUGUST 2023 2:25 PM

     

     

    “Very solid. Top guy”. From a Liverpool supporter

  14. FAVOURITE UNCLE on

    How long should we wait for top targets? You certainly wait this late in the window. Bedwetters signing players early in the window to relieve anxiety symptoms is a sight to behold. If you have that knot in your stomach right now, just go pop an antacid and let those with a seasoned constitution cope with stressful negotiating situations.

     

     

    And let those who believe the shit that P L puts out via his pals sit and remember THE WILLO FLOOD WINDAE ,N L sitting in the desert haulf pissed telling us we are signing 2 players before the window closes, have not seen the 5 way agreement , but but but tomorrow i will wake up a tim.

     

     

    Since i was a wee boy i have been told only way we will get change is if AULD KELLY or whoever comes out to take his seat and the park is empty.

  15. Merlin staying with Nantes ,I was looking forward to him joining the hoops .hopefully there will be other fullbacks on the list along with another midfielder.

  16. CELTIC40ME on 30TH AUGUST 2023 2:32 PM

     

    BIG WAVY on 30TH AUGUST 2023 2:25 PM

     

    “Very solid. Top guy”. From a Liverpool supporter

     

     

     

     

    Watched a video. Me likey…..good pedigree. He and Lagerbeilke might even score from a Palma corner too…..

     

     

    Next :)

     

     

    HH

  17. Prestonpans bhoys on

    Doing a very very rough head count on this article, on those who directly mention it. It was 16-4 and the 16 were not complementary, interesting…..

     

     

    Don’t think I double counted in the blazing sun of East Lothian, supposed to be 18° 🥵

  18. Liverpool CH in would fantastic.A bit of a beast.

     

    Hopefully,now the Benfica boy.Palma will be OK for Sunday.

  19. There are reasons to keep transfer business quiet and most of them are about agents. But the quiet leaves room for worry and speculation. Fans are understandably worried at this time of the year as I am sure is the manager. Fans have their emotional and financial investment in the club over generations. A manager has a job he promised to do and a career to think of.

     

    Anxiety is normal, let’s not diminish anyone for having normal emotions or over analyse our manager’s body language.

  20. Prestonpans bhoys on

    PARKHEADCUMSALFORD

     

     

    Naw 4 are regulars( whether they are consistently uncomplementary I don’t know), two I’m not aware of. The things you do to pass the day in retirement, saves drinking too early 😂

  21. Saint

     

    Brilliant trip down memory lane. Thanks for that.

     

    Lingo Lubo

     

    Thanks mate, just think it’s time to stop circling the plug hole. It’s the same every year.

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