Woody Allen and the Pope of Rome

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There’s a moment in Woody Allan’s movie Bananas, after the leader of a military coup takes control, that he loses his faint grasp on rationality and plunges headlong into random nonsense.  He informs the inhabitants of his Latin American country that Swedish will be their new language and that underwear now should be worn as an outer garment.

BBC’s Jim Spence this morning reports that a Dundee United director, flush with the success of reaching the League Cup final, told him United want almost double the ticket allocation for the final than they were able to sell for the semi-final, as “We want to ensure as big a crowd as possible for the game, which we are sure the sponsors would want too”, and that he wants United fans in the Toryglen end of the stadium, or the Celtic end, as it’s known by everyone else in the land.

Sure, ask for more tickets than you were able to sell, but don’t justify your request on the basis that this will ensure a bumper crowd.  If anything, it will achieve the opposite.

Asking for the Celtic end is right up there with wearing your pants on top of your trousers.  It’s a random and irrational exercise of power by someone who is evidently in way over their head.  It’s technically possible to have United at the ‘Toryglen’ end, but it would achieve no benefit and only cause confusion and inconvenience to thousands.  If Woody Allen is short of quality material (which appears to be the case), he should spend some time here.

Scotland is not full of these types, but those there are seem to gravitate towards positions in our national game.  From now on, I’m going to think of United chairman Stephen Thompson with his pants on the outside.  Pantsman Thompson, seems an appropriate handle.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to listen to thousands sing “No Pope of Rome” at a public gathering.  The problem is not as significant as it was a few decades ago, and is largely limited to the embers of a dying sub-culture. The rest of the country has moved on, as have most Rangers fans. I’m not sure how, or if, you can check these excesses, but I’m sure they are overwhelmingly self-harming.

Kenny MacAskill, appointed Justice Minister in the SNP government on the basis of having selective hearing and being able to make absurd claims, left his post in November.  His government have yet to make any comment on yesterday. Nor have they repealed the politically-motivated Offensive Behaviour Act, or show they are remotely interested in asking for the laws they introduced to be enforced without fear or favour. The Act was aimed at you and is simply flawed. It is toxic, remains in place out of nothing more than bloody-mindedness and will be repealed at the first change of government.

Anyway, you’ve got a cup final to look forward to on the weekend of the CQN11 St Patrick’s Dinner at the Kerrydale Suite, on Friday 13 March.  Email me, celticquicknews@gmail.com to book your tickets.

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1,600 Comments

  1. Paddy Gallagher on

    It must be every reserve footballers dream to get snapped up in the winter window and sign for a team with five stars on their Jersey.

  2. “Only one of them eligible for Europe?”

     

     

     

    Both will be eligible I’d imagine.

     

     

    Utd didn’t play in euro competition.

     

     

    HH

  3. Huns sign 5 starlets from Newcastle lol one hasn’t played for 18 months and another is just back from port vale haha and they also knock back bid for cyclops who hasn’t kicked a ball this season and Nicky law, aye right you are.

     

    Message to the peepeeeelll

     

    Everything is great we’re knocking back bids and signing superstars honest :-) HH

  4. gallagher

     

     

    07:59 on 3 February, 2015

     

     

    Heard from a good source that Newcastle phoned every player in the development squad and they 5 where the unlucky ones who answered first :-) HH

  5. here,s me good we self fighting the Hun on me own again ….hahahahahaha Germany is braw ……there was dooofie …I mean awfy dooofie saying the Norwegians are worried aboot the 65 dollar oil price ………nnoooooooo there fecking not …with their Oil Fund they are happy happy happy ..the only europeans Germans respect is Norwegians …their alptraum ist Schotten und Norwegen //// wets shitser as always bhoys and ghirls is where your iballs shid be …

     

     

    chinese …I love Chinese

     

     

    braw

  6. A good transfer window for us, must admit I didn’t expect it to pan out the way it did, so capped doffed to the board.

     

     

    As for the Zombies….you couldn’t make it up re: the rule bending. When will it stop?

  7. It matters not if they are NFC reserves, they can’ afford them, and I reckon they will be better than most of what the likes of QoS et all will have on their books.

     

     

    It’s cheating, plain and simple, yet the sfa will do sfa.

     

     

    HH

  8. FourGreenFields on

    the exiled tim

     

     

    That’s the point exactly , the need loans from MA to pay their existing players wages and yet they bring in 5 new players !!!!!!

     

    You really couldn’t make it up , trading whilst insolvent any nobody does a thing , disgusting .

  9. sispini ………….thats the magic ….who where and what never mind aboot who is daen the naughty …..

     

     

     

    braw

  10. Signing 5 Newcastle 3rd team loan guys on deadline day is er um er a bit like making a new signing. According to rangers legend mark Hately.

  11. FGF

     

     

    Rules Eh, have to feel for the teams who are trying to get into the top league with honest endevour.

     

     

    Really what the feck is the point.

     

     

    HH

  12. B78

     

     

    One of them is a NI international, another 2 have 40 1st team appearances for Newcastle between them, that’s no 3 rd team players.

     

     

    It’s still cheating.

     

     

    HH

  13. TET ……..I hope the important wan is doing the business…and that she,s no worn oot the sedentary dugs …smiley thing …

     

     

    braw

  14. FourGreenFields on

    the exiled tim

     

     

    That’s what happens when nobody challenges the blatant abuse of rules /regulations .

     

    This could all have been so different if all the other clubs had insisted on playing by the rules that were in place at the beginning of this charade.

  15. TET …..tell the guid lady she has a load of braw fans ….big forfar hugs …

     

     

     

    braw

  16. the very man ……… 4 greenish Fields ….tell us the best line from yer bestmans speech …go on now …

     

     

    braw

  17. What is the rules for lower league clubs ie loan players, got to be honest haven’t a clue myself as we’ve never had to play there :-) HH

     

     

    Topflightfootball csc

  18. It’s been a long time since I saw two Bhoys as happy as the United lads last night when signing for the Hoops.

     

    These Bhoys will burst a gut in the Celtic jersey. Delighted with this window.

     

    Duffy I know nothing about but let’s see what he can do.

     

    Welcome to Celtic Bhoys. Show us what you can do!

     

     

    LB

  19. I know the board are not perfect but well done on a getting thetwo DU bhoys in – never thought it would happen, certainly not in Jan anyway. I am happy and I am clapping – good times.